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A good shag

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Started by Citizen Erased in Chit-Chat

How long should a good shag last?

How quick is a quickie?

And how long is too long?

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 19:25

You’re viewing replies 1–30 of 39 by 12 people

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#1

30 secs max wrote:

“how long should a good shag last? 30 secs max!;)

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 19:33

#2

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

I assume you mean one singler act of penetration (not including foreplay & post climax cuddle), on that basis my personal experience would lead me to believe the following to be close:

1) 25-30 minutes
2) (As The Selector said) 3 Minute (Hero)
3) When your partner starts snoring at you or counting the cracks in the ceiling.

But all the above is irrelevant if you are doing it with someone your really care about. As you’ll both appreciate the moment you join as one. :)

Sorry if sounds a bit Dr Ruth or Claire Rayner, but I’m an old fart so I wouldn’t know much these days. :(

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 19:42

#3

30 secs max wrote:

25-30 minutes? bugger that. in, out an put the kettle on:D

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 19:51

#4

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

He just asked how a good shag should be, not whether it was humanly possible or not. I myself only made that distance a couple of times in my youth - nowadays I’m lucky if I get the chance to be a 3 Minute Hero! :(

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 19:55

#5

30 secs max wrote:

in my experience it depends how good looking the girl is. and how much booze has been consumed.

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 20:09

#6

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

Unfortunately I only get offers from true Munta’s & the bicycles - and when you’ve been in a relationship so far as to be expecting a baby & making wedding plans with the in-laws - Munta’s & bicycles don’t really do anything for you, no matter how much you’ve drunk. And that’s sometimes a sad truth.

If you get the pretty ones mate - good luck to you, you git.

I don’t as I’m a mixture of John Prescott, Buster Bloodvessel, Jabba the Hutt & Shane McGowan i.e. road kill looks better!

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 20:15

#7

Taunty Dan wrote:

well it depends. I like a good rough shag, nice and dry. Just shove it in, sit back and enjoy with a good read and a glass of brandy. Or maybe just in the company of friends who enjoy the same. :)

We ARE talking about tobacco, right?

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 20:23

#8

30 secs max wrote:

dont be so hard on yourself mr AS. shane mcgowans done ok for himself, an i know a guy that eats roadkill!

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 20:30

#9

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

@ Dan - I don’t think that’s the type of shag that’s being discussed here, but I assumed, so I could be wrong. :D

@ 30 secs max - Ta. But knowing my limitations is better than an enflated ego (been at both spectrums). :)

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 20:35

#10

Taunty Dan wrote:

not tobacco?? well what could sha… :eek: FILTH!! UTTER FILTH!!
*clutches heart. Quickly relights his pipe.*

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 20:43

#11

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

*just thought of Dan sitting down in a smoking jacket & carpet slippers & reading the guardian, whilst smoking - interesting* ;)

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 20:46

#12

30 secs max wrote:

try old holburn dan, it turns yer teeth yellow but god its good.:D

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 20:46

#13

Taunty Dan wrote:

:D I’m more of a golden virginia man myself.

But of course i don’t smoke… :rolleyes:

*hides marlboro behind his back. Whistles nonchalently.*

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 20:50

#14

30 secs max wrote:

the irony is im out of cigs and picking a tabbie out the ashtray as i type.:(

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 20:53

#15

Taunty Dan wrote:

Thats DIRTY!!!

I haven’t done that ever.

Well, once.

Okay, twice.

A day.

For several skint years. :(

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 20:55

#16

30 secs max wrote:

as long as its yer own tabbies its ok. just dont go doin it in the pub!

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 21:00

#17

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

I can’t say anything as I’m a none smoker.

I don’t mind smokers, I’m not one of those stuck up pricks, who cough loudly to try & make them feel guilty. And if they have any style, they will say the lines from Dennis Leary’s No Cure For Cancer - “Shit. That’s a serious cough, man. I smoke 60 a day & don’t cough like that. It’s a good job you don’t smoke”. :D

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 21:00

#18

Taunty Dan wrote:

Bill Hicks “How much do you smoke? A pack and a half? You little puss! I get thru 2 lighters a day, dude…” :)

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 21:02

#19

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

Classic! :D

But that’s for smoker to taunt other smokers. Leary’s was 2 fingers to whiney non-smokers.

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 21:05

#20

deadsetgav wrote:

“None smokers die every day”

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 21:08

#21

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

As do non-smokers!

Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 21:35

#22

Superunknown wrote:

Taunty Dan wrote:

:D I’m more of a golden virginia man myself.

Did you say vagina?

Posted on Wed, 31 January 2007 at 00:34

#23

30 secs max wrote:

virginia, vagina, it all tastes the same to me;)

Posted on Wed, 31 January 2007 at 00:38

#24

Superunknown wrote:

But the “golden” part differs slightly!

Posted on Wed, 31 January 2007 at 00:58

#25

30 secs max wrote:

thats a matter of opinion

Posted on Wed, 31 January 2007 at 01:02

#26

deadsetgav wrote:

The Auto Surgeon wrote:

As do non-smokers!

Smart arse :)

You try typing whilst beating your pets…

Posted on Wed, 31 January 2007 at 18:20

#27

johnny_knoxville wrote:

I just checked http://www.usarugs.com

and I quote:

“The most plush and thick solid shag rug on the market today. These rugs are made using the Scandinavian technique of hand hooking. Hand hooked in China using modified acrylic.”

So a good shag should last years i figure.

Posted on Wed, 31 January 2007 at 18:47

#28

King Caffeinebomb I wrote:

The oldest known wild double-crested cormorant lived to be 17 years and 9 months old. The average life expectancy for wild birds is 6.1 years. (Hatch and Weseloh, 1999)

Going on this data I would say that a good shag should last between 6 and 10 years. any more than that and you’ll probably start suffering slightly.

The average length of a Quiche is about 9 inches, and it’s known as diameter.

For the record it’s pronounched keesh not quickie

The Album “too long in exile” By Van Morrison is approximately 77 minutes and 4 seconds long, and pretty much defines the term “Too Long” IMHO.

If there are any further questions I can help you with, just let me know.

Posted on Wed, 31 January 2007 at 21:02

#29

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

deadsetgav wrote:

Smart arse :)

You try typing whilst beating your pets…

@ DSG - I don’t need to know if you are beating your monkey. :mad:

@ Caffinebomb - A wonderful slection of information. Thank you. :D

Posted on Wed, 31 January 2007 at 21:15

#30

Suz wrote:

johnny_knoxville wrote:

I just checked http://www.usarugs.com

and I quote:

“The most plush and thick solid shag rug on the market today. These rugs are made using the Scandinavian technique of hand hooking. Hand hooked in China using modified acrylic.”

So a good shag should last years i figure.

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
End of discussion! there’s the answer!

Posted on Wed, 31 January 2007 at 22:49

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