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caught with your pants down

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Started by 30 secs max in Chit-Chat

i dont know quite why im posting this but here goes-

i spent last new years eve with my friend and his girlfriend in a small village in scotland. after the bells its tradition in these parts to visit random houses for drinks. at about 4 in the morning we walked into this mans house to find him with his trousers round his ankles beating one out on the couch to men and motors. i suppose different people celebrate new year in different ways. i was speaking to my friend recently and he says the man in question has still to shown his face in the village pub this year. poor guy!! anyone got any similar stories?

Posted on Tue, 12 June 2007 at 21:50

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#1

Misanthropologist (d) wrote:

Well, this one New Year, I was sitting in my home in a little Scottish village, when the door opened…

Posted on Tue, 12 June 2007 at 22:41

#2

Muskeg (Yes, It's me.) wrote:

:D:D:D:D

Posted on Tue, 12 June 2007 at 23:43

#3

Viirkokka wrote:

I have a PC in my room and I had loaded up some good porn and was going at it.

The general rule I always tell my mum is to knock on the door and wait for me to say she can enter. In the interest of privacy.

I didn’t hear my mum coming up the stairs and she knocked but opened it immedietdly. I was struggling to pull my trousers up and got them up about a second after she had walked in.
“Mum nooo!”
“ahh!”
she closed the door and then opened it again as if my clothes would be on by then and she started saying “I just wanted to tell you about this great program on channel 5”
“mum go away, This is why I tell you to knock!”
but she kept on telling me about this program for a moment and then quickly walked off.
I think it was the shock that caused her to act so oddly.

Anyway the day after that I went out and bought myself a bolt lock and fitted it :D

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 07:54

#4

mrs h wrote:

Dear sweet mother of God :o

Your poor mum :(

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 09:17

#5

Muskeg (Yes, It's me.) wrote:

I like that Ricky Gervais story.

When he was younger, his friend at school told him he had been going at on it on his bed with his eyes shut and music playing. And when he finished, he opened his eyes and saw a tray of tea and biscuits on the side that wasnt there when he started :D:D:D

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 12:08

#6

mr self destruct wrote:

^ That’s on old, old story…probably an urban myth…

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 12:27

#7

Viirkokka wrote:

Poor mum?

Poor me!

Imagine that.. I didn’t ever get seen doing it for years and then she walks in twice in a single month.

Groan how awfull!

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 15:40

#8

mrs h wrote:

Well …

a) You shouldn’t be looking at pornography - it will distort your fragile mind and make it impossible for you to maintain normal relationships

and

b) that sort of thing will make you go blind. She’ll be ever so worried about you …

On the other hand you live in Somerset, and so I expect she will be overwhelmed with relief that you weren’t up there with a goat or a chicken or something!

;)

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 15:51

#9

Muskeg (Yes, It's me.) wrote:

Or his cousin :p

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 17:25

#10

mrs h wrote:

lol :D

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 17:39

#11

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

mrs h wrote:

Well …

a) You shouldn’t be looking at pornography - it will distort your fragile mind and make it impossible for you to maintain normal relationships

and

b) that sort of thing will make you go blind. She’ll be ever so worried about you …

On the other hand you live in Somerset, and so I expect she will be overwhelmed with relief that you weren’t up there with a goat or a chicken or something!

;)

A) I do believe there is enough stuff in the “real world” to distort any fragile minds about with out loading that one solely onto pornography.

and B) Go blind?!?! It’s not like he’s going to wipe his ejaculation into his eyes, now is it?!?! :rolleyes:

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 17:39

#12

mrs h wrote:

Is there something wrong with you today AS? It was a joke and your eye rolling is wearing a little thin!

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 17:40

#13

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

Sorry, got niggly pain in both my legs - apologises for not playing along with the joke. ;)

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 17:45

#14

mrs h wrote:

:S

What sort of pain? Pain in both legs sounds a bit ominous…

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 17:48

#15

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

Left leg - above & below the knee, but not the knee itself.

Right leg - From lower thigh to the top of the shin & the achilles is quite tight. The ankle feels a little swollen too.

Ah, but tomorrow is another day. :)

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 17:50

#16

mrs h wrote:

You should go out and get legless :D

Sorry *blushes* I’ll get my coat …

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 17:52

#17

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

LMAO - I enjoy corny jokes, so you’re welcome to stay. :)

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 17:54

#18

mrs h wrote:

*puts coat back*

Your sense of humour is truly apalling! :p

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 17:56

#19

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

I know - I’ll laugh at almost anything! :p

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 18:00

#20

mrs h wrote:

I’m not entirely sure that is a good thing. Is it part of your personality or are you on medication? :eek:

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 18:02

#21

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

Personality!?!? What’s one of those? :D

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 18:13

#22

mrs h wrote:

Never mind :)

*passes AS his yellow pills*

*and the blue ones*

*gets the syringe ready*

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 18:23

#23

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

*runs away very quickly, listening to Stalk & Slash and shout out “No more drugs for this young man”!!!*

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 18:27

#24

Citizen Erased wrote:

I’m sure the drug problems in this country would be lessened if all nasty pills came in suppository form only. Possibly I’m being naive.

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 19:46

#25

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

Well you’d certainly have the colonic irrigation set concerned! :p

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 19:50

#26

Citizen Erased wrote:

Indeed.

Talking of ‘sets’, I’ve recently been running round Hyde Park more than, um, in the past. Can’t get over how many posh (not necessarily pretty) skinny women there are with really stupidly feeble looking dogs - its like a Paris-Hilton-meets-the-Sloane-Ranger convention. I’m tempted to shout ‘up yer bum’ or something at them.

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 19:52

#27

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

Yeah, I know what you mean. I seem to be seeing more & more of them walking around Holborn - But then I have the LSE nearby, so there is quite a variety to “observe”.

But as for shouting at them - don’t. It’ll only mean they know that they are getting attention & do it even more. Just see how many of them now get the Posh Spice/Katie Cruise-Holmes haircuts, that will be the next fad for those types.

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 19:57

#28

Taunty Dan wrote:

Shouting is futile, 2 words: Fire Arms. (or is it one word?) Aim carefully though, theres not a lot to aim for.

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 19:59

#29

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

No just shout “Gucci Sale” & and watch them run - then laugh at them when they find out they’ve been had! :D

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 20:02

#30

Erik Schepers (Erik Schepers) wrote:

I once walked in on a friend whilst he was having a wank. He wasn’t too pleased to see me given his comment “Goddammit! Can’t you knock you bastard!”.

And to add insult to injury, his TV was on at the time so I asked him if he was whacking off to Diana Rigg. At which point he angrily produced a pornographic publication from underneath the bedsheets.

So all in all, it was pretty embarrassing but it couldn’t have been worse. ;)

Posted on Wed, 13 June 2007 at 20:05

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