Wall of Mouths

Sellotape everything on his desk down, including the telephone and mouse cords. Or black out all the windows, hang up beaded curtains, light some incense and suggest you all have a love-in to celebrate your leaving.

No need BK, I’ve got plenty of refferences if I need them, also I have two lists, one for if I go for a film or tv job, and another for the boring real life retail bollocks. Annoyingly the second list gets used the most!

I think I’ve got the answer, I’m going to half inch some laxatives from the health aisle and pour them into the managers coffee!

Brilliant! A double whammy!

Yes he is BK, somebody at work recently asked him to work some extra time and his responce was ” I can’t, I’m a family man”.

Now then, whilst he may have kids I took a real exception to this as I know people around me who have a family and are working shit loads of extra time to help support them whilst this fat bastard is on £60K a year and does sod all other than sit in his office number crunching. I did 70 hours in 4 days once and literally collapsed due to exhaustion the day after and had to phone in sick then got a load of shit from him about not “being dedicated”! What the fuck?!

I’m also trying to see if I can borrow a female staff member’s dress at the moment! If it comes off expect pictures!

Blonde Blade wrote:

Yeah, we’ve got one of those. He wouldn’t let one of my friends reduce her hours so that she can spend more time at home with her new baby, and yet he knocks off early every frickin day to pick up his own kids. Bastard bosses.

I don’t know why people get this way, I put it down to a bullied childhood. The thing that really irked a lot of us is that he actually includes these little notes in our pay packets telling us how his family are and that he’s off on holiday for 3 weeks. I had to do an “exit” interview- why they can’t just say leaving interview beats the hell outta me- and in the “any final comments” box I left a pretty horrible message saying that if the store was to be improved they should sack the manager and his deputy. They should have read it by the time I go back in today so it’ll be interesting to see the responce it gets! I mean, what can they do now..sack me?!

Oh it gets better than that CE, I was collared by the deputy manager today enquiring why I thought he should be sacked, when I explained that it was because he did fuck all his responce was the very proffessional ” But I’m a manager, I don’t have to work”. He honestly couldn’t comprehend what I was trying to say to him.

See what I’m up against? I’ve also heard that the store manager is very upset with me, so he’s probably going to collar me tomorrow for a chin wag..maybe this will be my opportunity to get the laxatives in his drink?

And I’ve been told that I should have the skirt and blouse tomorrow, I’ve no idea what size I am though! The problem is my hips y’see, I’ve got these huge child bearing hips…

Oh, I may have gone a bit too far.

Bloody too right! Yestreday’s pranks included pouring several bottles of fairy liquid down the men’s toilets, a fight on the aisles with fructis shampoo..which looked like semen but at least we all ended up with nice hair, exploding bottles of tonic water and generally not doing anything other than talking all day.

Now then girls, what make up should I wear that compliments a blue blouse?

Oh well, that was all abit anti-climax! I got ready for work and ended up not going cause I started watching the FA cup final instead!

For those of you thinking I wussed out I’d just like to put the record straight by saying that this wouldn’t be the first time I’ve worn women’s clothes and it probably won’t be the last. Make of that what you will.

Actually don’t, I don’t want people to start getting the wrong idea.

Tomorrow! Discount city, here I come!

Not sure at present, but I’ll be looking out for the Jam DVD!

Maybe suicide Invoice by Hot Snakes ( Rocket From The Crypt off shoot ), I’ll have plenty of time to browse though!