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Worst Therapy reviews?

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Started by LunacyBooth

Found this review in a local paper last week and was wondering who else had found bad reviews of t?

From MetroLife section in Metro (Tues May 13th 2003).

“After all this time, the most interesting thing about Irish riff-mongers Therapy? Is still that the question mark following their name is the result of some clumsy Letraset application on an early demo tape. Since then, the band have made clumsiness something of a (misspelt) calling card, buffeting from one gauche metal record to another with all the finesse of a fat man in a dodgem. Neither clever enough to be taken seriously, nor daft enough to be loved, Therapy? Have tried on many hats and looked rubbish in all of them.

Their main problem is that they’ve always strived to be something – everything – they’re not. First, they cast themselves as disaffected industrial metallurgists; wholly unconvincing on account of singing goatee Andy Cairns being about as disturbing as a Heartbeat Christmas special. Plus the lyrics were, and remain, crap.

Then, with the mainstream-tickling Troublegum album, they broke out the tunes and growled a hearty “How about ye?” to daytime radio, which was actually worse than before in that it added a sense of opportunistic desperation to the mix. Then came the cellos, in an attempt to be seen as sonorous artistes, although things only began going seriously awry when Cairns started appearing naked in videos, supplying irrefutable proof that Therapy? were the unacceptable arse of British rock.

Although their Troublegum evidently burst long ago, they remain afloat thanks to an alarmingly faithful fan base and will probably be preaching to the converted for years to come. But question: Therapy? Answer: No Thanks.”

Posted on Wed, 21 May 2003 at 10:28

You’re viewing replies 1–24 of 24 by 21 people

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#1

mooneycult wrote:

was this actually a review of the new album??? if so its not a particularly informative one!

in fairness to the majority of (non shit) music journalists/reviewers, most of them have been good to therapy? over the years, acknowledging the fact that they are a great and very underrated band. thats my experience anyway.

i can’t rememeber ever seeing a bad review for the band in metal hammer or kerrang, even terrorizer has grudgingly admitted they are a good band!

Posted on Wed, 21 May 2003 at 10:37

#2

mooneycult wrote:

HOWEVER…

now that i actually think about it, there was a review on suicide pact in some indie rocker mag (Q or select, not sure which) which pissed me off a bit.

some quotes from it went something like this:

“…that the fact that the album is over 70 mins long makes it hard to sit through…”

“…the sound of a band desparate to get back in the public eye, and for whom the glory days are almost certainly gone…”

am not making those up, the only conclusion i can make is that the guy actually did not listen to the album.

Posted on Wed, 21 May 2003 at 10:47

#3

Alan wrote:

:D

I had a good laugh at that!

Write a review for a new album and only mention “Troublegum”, and not mention ANY songs? Hmmm, great journalism! :rolleyes:

This guys sounds like a begrudging hack trying to be controversial - would explain why he’s only writing for Metro.

:)

Posted on Wed, 21 May 2003 at 10:49

#4

LunacyBooth wrote:

Sorry I should have mentioned that the report was actually a preview of the Glasgow Garage gig (just looked at paper again). Not sure if it’s even worse in this context!

:rolleyes:Just to add fuel to this one here’s another little gem I found for SMFTTYP album.

http://www.ink19.com/issues/february2001/wetInk/musicTZ/therapy.html

Posted on Wed, 21 May 2003 at 11:10

#5

Alan wrote:

LunacyBooth wrote:

Sorry I should have mentioned that the report was actually a preview of the Glasgow Garage gig (just looked at paper again). Not sure if it’s even worse in this context!

Ah okay, it’s for a gig. Still, this guy has obviously never seen Therapy? live ‘cos I’ve never EVER seen a bad review of a live gig (nor have I been to a bad T? gig, of course!).

As bad as that first piece is, at least it’s not as bad as the second one you posted!! :D “They’re from some other country (Australia?)” :rolleyes:

:D Great stuff!!!

Posted on Wed, 21 May 2003 at 11:17

#6

Daisy wrote:

That gig was ace.

The reviewr obviuously either wasn’t there or just doesn’t like Therapy?

*wrote all that before reading that it was a PREview*

still suspect the writer just doesn’t like em.

Posted on Wed, 21 May 2003 at 11:21

#7

Alan wrote:

Daisy wrote:

The reviewr obviuously either wasn’t there or just doesn’t like Therapy?

Well, it was a preview for the gig, not a review.

But after a piece like that, I think it’s pretty safe to say he wouldn’t have been open-minded enough to go along to the gig anyway.

Posted on Wed, 21 May 2003 at 11:23

#8

Auto_Surgery (Mad Axe Man) wrote:

Don’t know the reviewer but got one thing to say…Wanker!

Posted on Wed, 21 May 2003 at 11:25

#9

Citizen Erased wrote:

The metro preview seems somewhat crap - last time they played Newcastle, Metro (presumably a different writer for a different town) basically said ‘despite being old and utter uncommercialin how they do things, T? are better than anyone else currently doing shows’. I had the preview pinned on my desk at work until I left - If I can find it, I’ll scan it and post it.

Posted on Wed, 21 May 2003 at 11:46

#10

mrk wrote:

Title: Re: Worst Therapy reviews?

LunacyBooth wrote:

Although their Troublegum evidently burst long ago, they remain afloat thanks to an alarmingly faithful fan base and will probably be preaching to the converted for years to come. But question: Therapy? Answer: No Thanks.”

“That’s nit picking, isn’t it?”

mrk

Posted on Wed, 21 May 2003 at 13:24

#11

smurftastic wrote:

Title: Re: Worst Therapy reviews?

LunacyBooth wrote:

“wholly unconvincing on account of singing goatee Andy Cairns being about as disturbing as a Heartbeat Christmas special.

Er, I’m a bit confused by this statement. Does he mean that Andy IS disturbing (coz IMHO any episode of Heartbeat would be pretty disturbing), or that he ISN’T (in which case that journalist needs to go see someone about the fact he/she/it DOESN’T find Heartbeat disturbing)?

Or maybe I’ve just missed the point completely.

Whatever, a lot of hot air spouted by someone with a very narrow mind. Wouldn’t expect anything else from a quality rag like Metro.

Posted on Wed, 21 May 2003 at 14:51

#12

prisonbreaker wrote:

This metro guy really needs to be kicked very hard in his ass, by Van Hooidonck or Roberto Carlos

Posted on Wed, 21 May 2003 at 15:31

#13

opalmantra wrote:

Title: Re: Re: Worst Therapy reviews?

Quote (author unknown):

“That’s nit picking, isn’t it?”

Thank god it’s not just a two-word review. :D

Posted on Wed, 21 May 2003 at 17:03

#14

Superunknown wrote:

These reviews make me wanna go out and kill again!
:mad:

Posted on Wed, 21 May 2003 at 22:19

#15

dano wrote:

Again?!

Posted on Wed, 21 May 2003 at 22:20

#16

donVutz wrote:

Title: @ dano:

better not ask him, you might get an unpleasent answer.

Posted on Thu, 22 May 2003 at 01:27

#17

richboy wrote:

prisonbreaker wrote:

This metro guy really needs to be kicked very hard in his ass, by Van Hooidonck or Roberto Carlos

or lee bowyer and jonathan woodgate

the second review was pretty funny i thought. i can see how Mitchell Foy got Northern Ireland and Australia mixed up - they are pretty similar. or was he just trying to be clever? it just goes over my head…

anyway, overall wholly inaccurate, but the use of playground language was very amusing

Posted on Thu, 22 May 2003 at 16:56

#18

satanic fieldmouse wrote:

Title: Re: Re: Re: Worst Therapy reviews?

opalmantra wrote:

Thank god it’s not just a two-word review. :D

yeah it could have simply said “shit sandwich”

Posted on Mon, 26 May 2003 at 17:06

#19

wyrd wrote:

From on of the reviews:
T? play acts in front of scads of college kids.

I didn’t know that I’m a college kid…22 years old…still in a college…fuck…
Rock on!
:D

Posted on Sat, 25 September 2004 at 07:38

#20

Speedball wrote:

Thats why i hate reviewers.

I mean, therapy have got one fuckload of a loyal fanbase.
Can’t a reviewer just say, its not my thing but therapy must be doing something right to still be going after all these years, and not just touring every so often to play a back catalouge.

You look at it from the perspective of someone who’s never heard of therapy and that could put them off ever liking them, on the basis of that review.

Luckily most people know that reviewers are more or less full of shit.

Posted on Sat, 25 September 2004 at 07:58

#21

AdamNewcastle wrote:

I’ve yet to read a good review in that poor excuse for a newspaper. Although, I suppose with Metro, you get what you pay for.

Posted on Sat, 25 September 2004 at 08:56

#22

Pat wrote:

the guy did have a good point to make, seeing andy’s ass in the diane video was and still is disturbing!

but anything in the metro should be discarded like toilet paper its crap thats why its free on the bus.

Posted on Sat, 25 September 2004 at 13:50

#23

summer_of_hate wrote:

>Then, with the mainstream-tickling Troublegum album, they >broke out the tunes and growled a hearty “How about ye?” >to daytime radio…

Try “what about ye?” you hopelessly shite ballbag!

Posted on Sun, 26 September 2004 at 17:14

#24

JSar666 wrote:

Always ignore ‘Metro’ or anyone who thinks the Libertines are “the most important band of our generation”. Are they fuck.

It always annoys me when people judge bands like Therapy? without giving them a good listen or without even a vague knowledge of metal or “real” rock music. If you’re basically a whiney-indie magazine who disses all bands that aren’t indie, then STOP REVIEWING OTHER GENRES.

Posted on Sun, 26 September 2004 at 18:06

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