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Shite film ahoy!

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Started by dano in Chit-Chat

I’ve just got me grubby mitts on an “advanced preview” ( oh alright, illegal pirate copy ) of Aliens Vs Predator. I’d been looking forward to this for ages…

It’s fucking bollocks!

Now, I wasn’t expecting a classic by any means, but an enjoyable switch off and embrace the cheese night was at least hoped for. It doesn’t even offer that, and the predators look a bit crap as well.

Paul Anderson is the world’s worst director!

Posted on Sat, 18 September 2004 at 08:34

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#1

Gav wrote:

Shit… was quite looking forward to this myself, I was worried when i found out it was the same guy that did ‘Mortal Kombat’…

Posted on Sat, 18 September 2004 at 09:56

#2

tatty seaside town wrote:

Films like “jason vs. freddy” isn´t that good either!

Posted on Sat, 18 September 2004 at 12:21

#3

motherh666 wrote:

Hey I liked Mortal Combat. Granted I was about 12, but I had a great time…

Posted on Sat, 18 September 2004 at 12:34

#4

Dermot wrote:

I’d been looking forward to a film of Aliens v Predator since I was a kid. When I found out that it wasn’t an 18 and that it was done by the same guy who did Resident Evil, I knew not to get my hopes up too much… every review by a fan of the original movies says that its shite

Posted on Sat, 18 September 2004 at 12:35

#5

tatty seaside town wrote:

I saw Riddick yesterday … and well thats a really bad movie! Just like the subject of this thread says …

on the other hand: Hellboy is a cute film! I liked it!

Posted on Sat, 18 September 2004 at 12:40

#6

Bad Karma wrote:

I thought it was going to be shite when i saw the 12 rating (yes i too have an illegal pirate copy)i only watched the 1st hour before turning it off.
I saw Riddick a few weeks back and its crap,they must have paid Judi Dench shitloads of money to appear in it.
Hellboy on the other hand was fucking brilliant,easily the best film i’ve seen at the cinema all year,oh and the new Tom Cruise film Collateral is very good i saw it last night.

Posted on Sat, 18 September 2004 at 15:14

#7

Citizen Erased (confused again) wrote:

tatty seaside town wrote:

Films like “jason vs. freddy” isn´t that good either!

Freddy vs Jason is a superb film!

Posted on Fri, 8 October 2004 at 16:01

#8

RobbyVDH wrote:

Sometimes it’s really funny to see how we all agree :D

Posted on Fri, 8 October 2004 at 16:10

#9

Pat wrote:

alien vs predator was ok, not great, not shite, it takes too long to start but when it does its alright, and the story about the predators and egypt was good, didnt see riddick, i avoid vin diseal films like the plague,
what i did see was envy (possibly the slowest most unfunny comedy ever made) absolute bollocks

and dodgeball, alright but a scene for scene copy of happy gilmore so i doubt i’ll ever watch it again

good films just dont get made anymore, and therefore i’m not gonna spend a single penny in a cinema for a long time, thank god for supernova or id have wasted a lot of money on a lot of shite

Posted on Fri, 8 October 2004 at 23:40

#10

tatty seaside town wrote:

Trust me, there are more worse films out there, that you can imagine.

As I need to watch all this X rated stuff, the story lines in there are just…

can´t describe it. I mean not the words they say, during their MAKING OUT *g*

i mean before and after that and in between the scenes, when it is a whole movie.

They really try to be nice and interessting, but its just lousy most of the time.

And Cleopatra, doesn´t look like BOY GEORGE :)
Why keeps everyone telling me this? *g*

http://www.private.com/cleopatra/

Posted on Fri, 8 October 2004 at 23:45

#11

Flavia wrote:

I wish I had seen this thread before. My bf dragged me to the cinema to watch this “movie”. What a waste of time! I swear I almost fell asleep.

But I’ll have my revenge and make him watch something he’ll never foret, something liek Legally Blond! After that, he will think twice before choosing crap movies!

But I truly believe there’s something worse than Alien Vs Predator: The Cube. That has to be the WORST movie EVER.

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 05:49

#12

hoochalobster (Sarah) Super Moderator wrote:

Legally Blonde is one of my favourite films :D

Most disappointing film has to be Van Helsing, I was really excited about that and it was complete shite, the bastards. Oh and Tatty, don’t suppose you have any porn with Hugh Jackman in? ;)

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 07:10

#13

tatty seaside town wrote:

I am totally sorry mighty Hoochlord.

Perhaps there is a film out called “XXX Men” or something. But i don´t think so. Jack would be played by another one there.

So no porn appearance by your XXX man *g*

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 08:18

#14

hoochalobster (Sarah) Super Moderator wrote:

Nooooo, he really did used to be in porn - he said so in an interview, he just didn’t say what the films were called :(

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 08:48

#15

tatty seaside town wrote:

Really? Wow mighty Hoochlord knows more than me … i will see what i can do to figure this out *g* He was probably working under another name :)

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 09:46

#16

Misanthropologist (d) wrote:

Flavia wrote:

But I truly believe there’s something worse than Alien Vs Predator: The Cube. That has to be the WORST movie EVER.

No, The Hole is the worst movie ever. Fact.

@Tatty, XXX men? Lol. I dread to think what special mutations they might have.. :eek:

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 10:51

#17

hoochalobster (Sarah) Super Moderator wrote:

I volunteer to find out… :D

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 11:36

#18

White Psycho wrote:

“Hey baby wanna see my wolverine?”
“Wanna see my special cyclops?”
“How’d you like to feel my bald head?”

Ahhhhh this is prime material!

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 11:45

#19

Misanthropologist (d) wrote:

YOu forgot the toad with his extraordinarily long tongue.

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 13:22

#20

Stiggi wrote:

Worst movie ever is Beyond Re-Animator.
I never thought their wil be somthing worse than The Dentist, but guess what, The Producers of Re-Animator made a it possible to make a fighting scene between a bitten off zombie penis and a rat unfunny. To stoned people!!!
Don’t ever watch this crap. If someon near you says he liked him, punch him in the face and give him a 48hour Dawn of the Dead-brainwashing Clockwork Orange style, he’ll be thankfull for trhe rest of his life.

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 13:50

#21

tatty seaside town wrote:

Talking about Porn remakes of hollywood blockbusters? *g*

There are some famous out there

“Privat Gladiator”
“Privat Cleopatra”
“The Penetrator” (remake of terminator)
“Forest Hump”
“The Orient Express”
“Pinocchio”
“Alice in Wonderland”

german also “Schwanzwaldklinik”

yeah stuff like that so …

hmm XXX men should be made sometime … I really don´t know why nobody thought of that by now … Also what about “Lord of the cockrings?

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 13:55

#22

Gav wrote:

Misanthropologist wrote:

No, The Hole is the worst movie ever. Fact.

Thats not possible - even though the film is mainly shit - 3 words:

‘Keira’… ‘Knightlys’… ‘Tits’…

yes - I am that shallow

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 13:58

#23

Misanthropologist (d) wrote:

That doesn’t deserve a reply…

(ohshit)

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 14:06

#24

Gav wrote:

um… serves you right!

:D

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 14:07

#25

motherh666 wrote:

deadsetgav wrote:

Thats not possible - even though the film is mainly shit - 3 words:

‘Keira’… ‘Knightlys’… ‘Tits’…

yes - I am that shallow

Yes and for another 5 points it had a Rico song playing during their party sequence.

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 16:32

#26

Gav wrote:

Which one? - I listened to Sanctuary Medicine in the car on the way to work the other day - i had forgoten how good it was!

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 17:05

#27

hoochalobster (Sarah) Super Moderator wrote:

tatty seaside town wrote:

hmm XXX men should be made sometime … I really don´t know why nobody thought of that by now … Also what about “Lord of the cockrings?

lol, reminds me of a drunken evening debating the potential of Ready Steady Cock, this was the result;

(Before changing the message boards’ software in August 2007 this post had a file attachment, which may return in the future)

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 20:03

#28

allroy (Rainer) wrote:

tatty seaside town wrote:

“Privat Gladiator”
“Privat Cleopatra”
“The Penetrator” (remake of terminator)
“Forest Hump”
“The Orient Express”
“Pinocchio”
“Alice in Wonderland”

german also “Schwanzwaldklinik”

If your music collection would be as sophisticated as your movies. :p

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 21:08

#29

Gav wrote:

hoochalobster wrote:

lol, reminds me of a drunken evening debating the potential of Ready Steady Cock, this was the result;

That IS funny!

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 21:13

#30

dano wrote:

I had an idea for a tv series in which people demonstrate their porn qualities, it’s called bone idol.

So far the BBC and ITV don’t seem interested though!

Posted on Sun, 10 October 2004 at 21:20

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