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Bad Joke Thread

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Started by Kyle Bovine (K B) in Chit-Chat

A fish swims into a wall:

“Damn.”

Two buckets meet in a holw filled with water.one says to the other:

“Well.”

Anyone got anymore???

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 14:20

You’re viewing replies 1–30 of 942 by 92 people

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#1

motherh666 wrote:

What’s black & white and eats like a horse? - A Zebra

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 14:35

#2

allroy (Rainer) wrote:

Warum steht das Pils im Wald? Weil Tannenzapfen.

Sorry, guys, it only works in German.

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 14:37

#3

say10 wrote:

@ allroy:

“Paul, aner Theke ists am schönsten.”

?

;)

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 14:47

#4

FNYANKEZ wrote:

What did Cinderella say when she reached the ball?

-gulp (or any gagging sound you can thing of)

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 17:05

#5

msd wrote:

What’s brown and steaming and comes from Cow(es)?

The Isle of Wight ferry.

(only works when you say it)

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 17:20

#6

Kyle Bovine (K B) wrote:

How do you make an orphan’s hands bleed?

Tell him to clap hands ‘til daddy comes home.

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 19:20

#7

Misanthropologist (d) wrote:

mr self destruct wrote:

(only works when you say it)

heh. Similar problem:

Q: What’s green and invisible?

(Holds up empty hand) A: This cabbage.
***
Q: What do you call an Aardvark beaten up by another aardvark?

A: a vark.

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 19:30

#8

Gav wrote:

Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

you can unscrew a lightbulb

…sorry!:(

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 19:43

#9

Gav wrote:

Whats the difference between a dog and a fox?

About 8 pints

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 19:46

#10

Misanthropologist (d) wrote:

before you started posting, there were eight people on this board. Two jokes later and there’s three of us.

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 19:50

#11

RobbyVDH wrote:

That’s the best one so far and the first one that made me smile :D

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 19:52

#12

Gav wrote:

Misanthropologist wrote:

before you started posting, there were eight people on this board. Two jokes later and there’s three of us.

Whats that say about you? hehe :D

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 19:53

#13

Misanthropologist (d) wrote:

:D

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 19:53

#14

Gav wrote:

Woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre - so the barman gave her one!

:rolleyes: Har Har - there are more where that came from

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 19:55

#15

Lenny wrote:

Whats green and stands in the corner?

A bold frog :D

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 20:02

#16

msd wrote:

What’s green and turns red at the flick of a switch?

A frog in a liquidiser.

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 20:19

#17

msd wrote:

What’s green and goes up and down?

A gooseberry in a lift.

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 20:20

#18

Pat wrote:

whats black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron….sorry.

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 20:50

#19

Mekhet wrote:

whats black and full of holes?

Marvin Gaye.

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 21:18

#20

allroy (Rainer) wrote:

say10 wrote:

@ allroy:

“Paul, aner Theke ists am schönsten.”

?

;)

Danke, Mom. ;)

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 22:44

#21

White Psycho wrote:

What’s blue and fucks grans?

Pneumonia

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 22:45

#22

3ddo-on-the-balcony (eddo) wrote:

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

dung…

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 22:53

#23

Squall wrote:

Shakespeare walks into a mancunian pub and the landlord says :

” Get out yer bard ”

:D

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 23:29

#24

Divers (Simon) wrote:

whats pink and hard

a pig with a flick knife

whats blue and doesn’t fit…

a dead epileptic.

ok i really think i should go..i’m so sorry

Posted on Thu, 13 January 2005 at 23:44

#25

realityfuck (Richard Splash) wrote:

What’s the fastest cake in the world?

scone

(again, needs to be spoken, not written)

Posted on Fri, 14 January 2005 at 02:09

#26

Divers (Simon) wrote:

I think that one still worked as it made me laugh.

Posted on Fri, 14 January 2005 at 02:38

#27

needsometherapy wrote:

Two canibals (father and son) taking home their latest victim, a gorgeous supermodel with veloptious tits, curvy bum and face like an angel who is crying for help.

Son: So are we gonna eat her as soon as we get back?
Father: No, we keep her and we eat mom!

:D

Posted on Fri, 14 January 2005 at 09:30

#28

OK! wrote:

It has all colours of the rainbow and if it falls on you, you are dead. What is it?
a painting shop

It’s black and white, it hangs in a tree and if it fall on you, you are dead. What is it?
a bunch of cows

;)

Posted on Fri, 14 January 2005 at 16:37

#29

Kyle Bovine (K B) wrote:

What do you call a man with no arms?

Shitty-arse!

Posted on Fri, 14 January 2005 at 16:47

#30

Kyle Bovine (K B) wrote:

What happens when you take viagra and an Iron Supplement?

You swing around and point north.

What has four legs and gives milk?

Two milkmen.

Posted on Fri, 14 January 2005 at 18:30

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