Wall of Mouths

:( You said you don’t want suggestions, so I won’t try to give you any, but I just wanted to say that I know what you mean. When suicide is a step too far, but nothing else is enough, it’s a really hard place to be in.
Anything else I could say would sound like a suggestion, so I’ll just shut up now.
Be strong, mate.

Fatboy, hang in there lad. To an extent I know how you feel.

For me, every day just seems like another uneventful, bland, boring, ‘one-day older’ sort of thing. I’m not suicidal, but I can’t imagine ever finding pure happiness that some (a lot?) of people have in their lives. At the moment, I’m pretty much going through the motions, because I really have no clue how to change things. Real and lasting happiness and contentedness are impossible emotions to me, I feel. Likewise, pure anger and hate isn’t in me either. Like I said, I just feel bland.

I have a good job, good friends, good family, and I’ve even just bought a house. On the outside, it probably looks arrogant of me to complain, but inside my head everything in life is pretty much boring to me (apart from the usual temporary distractions).

Like I said previously, I’m not at all suicidal, but I could easily see how someone could feel a lot worse than I do.

Let us know how you get on the next few days, if you feel like talking about it further, that is.

Anyway, do something to cheer yourself up - dance round your fucking house naked, make prank phone calls, laugh at yourself for doing dumb things! Life’s too short to get depressed, make the most of it. I ‘ve been married to a heroine addict for 5 years and i have always tried to make the best of things and smile as much as possible, it’s worked - the power of positive thinking is amazing. I have met the most wonderful man (on here) who makes me so happy but even before i met him i have always tried to look on the bright side. I have hopes and dreams that i want to fulfill - what i’m trying to convey here is that life can be utterly wank and make you want to do yourself in but if you can see that there is a possiblity that sometime in the future you could be happy then you must do everything possible to get to that future.

What’s the meaning of life - i don’t know - to have a good fucking time?

Don’t do it

As I read the responses, I’me just getting over a very shitty weekend. As I write this, I’m in an internet cafe, with the sound of kids playing computer games. They’re loud, but at the same time, I’m glad I’m at this place, rather than getting worked up with being alone with the feelings that I’ve had. I don’t have the internet in the house, but I doubt that having the net in my bedroom would solve anything.

I’m off to my local gay pub, watch a drag show (a guilty pleasure, I admit) and try my best to make the most of life.

Thanks for reading, I’m sure there may be more response to the matter. Also, thanks for, I know its a cliche, opening my eyes for me to know that I’m not alone.

Again, thanks.

You did the right thing in expressing yourself, letting off steam or whatever you wanna call it…

You have seen the response has been positive, so rememeber, there is always an outlet on here for you to bang away at the keyboard when things are getting too much.

I’m guessing that anyone listening to Therapy? must have/ have had similarly heavy feelings in the past/present - it’s hard to see how people could identify with some of the music if they don’t identify with darker side of the lyrics.

You may be lonely, but you are not alone.

I’ve been feeling really shit recently too, my girlfriend split up with me and although we’re on good terms and everything it has really upset me and I really want her back.

Yeah, exercise is pretty cool for mental health. It can make you look a hell of alot better and therefore improve self esteem. You’ll also feel better for meeting up to the challenge of doing it. Exercise is after all a challenge to complete!
I suggest cardio the most though because it release endorphins and that can give you a high. I know all about it I listen to therapy? and cycle and it makes me feel great just gettting all that sweat out!
Try it out.

I think this is the best thread because instead of talking about stuff that you probbaly won’t remember tomorrow It’s about peoples feelings about life in general we all have or own stories and Its true life is tough for example my dad who I barely know is drinking himself to an early grave and I had a sister who would have been 4 last week if she didnt die at birth but I know people in other places are having it worse of then me so I keep smiling, drinking and living every day like its my last because you know what it could be.;)

I go to the gym twice a week, which helps a little (though losing weight is a little difficult), do a bit of reading (currently reading Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh for the millionth time)and been listening to a lot of music (I’m on a Converge trip at the moment).

Yet on the other hand, I’m currently taking two types of anti-depressents, with my dossage going up. I had a pscoytrist (you know what I mean) appointment this past Tuesday (15/11/05), and I’m on the waiting list to have psycho therapy in the new year (around June/July)and that seems a long way off.

This thread, it has to be said, is very supportive, so THANX.

actually.. i never had similar stuff, like family intern problems or with a girlfriend (of course i havent one yet) but still theres always shit around.

i know this may not really fit into the thread but i mean school is getting really hard now, theres a lot of pressure on us. and sometimes i really feel so down. its like you keep your head into a dustbin full of water, which is a strange explanation. mainly when you try so hard and still you’re failing. all i want to do is living my life just i like i want it! why do i have to do that, always the same question.. in times like these i often feel alone, and i know i am not alone.. i even have the best parents in the world who always support me… and the best music to keep yourself feel alone and of course the music that wont let you down… that makes you think you cant fuck off now! that would be your biggest fault.. and still its not a easy game. the most fucked up thing is that the kids have the most pressure in those years when they are very stupid.
its so shit when you do something you dont really want to, but i have to cause its hard to find a job without doing a good school.
and my brother is in england right now, studying at a uni. i miss him a lot. we really have close relationship. thats strange i know many people who can’t stand their brothers or sisters, even partents..

receintly i came to realise half of the kids around my region are drug addicts! and i always thougth this just happens in the big citys you know… loads of kids i know have been caught by the police now! hehe.. i mean they really think they are more clever than the police! my parents now are proud of me because, they know i would never do anything just like that. i really now what to do even if i am depressed.

i just keep rockin’ with those bands nobody knows around me, cause those are the bands that keep me strong… or would you think you would be able to stay strong with the music of britney? opps i did it again.. whooo ahhh

but thats another story! excuse me i now have to study for school! :)

:)

i just wanted to point out that we all have different lives.. i know that what i was saying is nothing compared to problems others have mentioned.. i am more the guy who’s not interessted in troubles, time ago it would have been easy for me to put my brain on standby and do something i would regret later… long time ago i had “friends” that have connections into this drug scene i mentioned… if you see it like that i could have turned easily into this as well.. i am glad i have a brain that works, to make myself a mind, what is right and wrong…

anyway some problems people mentioned here are really not like “this-will-never-happen-to-me-problems” … sooner or later everyones will have problems, and they some wont be able to cope with that..

and indeed it can be a hard world to grow up…

Beth wrote:

I’m still going through depression. I have no idea how you’re actually feeling as I’m only 18 and still foolish and not …you.

means i am 2 and a half months older than you :)

what was/is the reason why you tried so many different methods to get a level head?

I didn’t feel I had the mental strength to say I’m going to get though this myself. It’s only recently I’ve realised I have to put some effort in myself!
I got to the stage of being desperate. I thought I’m blessed with having the ability to try these things and I’ve heard they worked for some people so why not give them a try.
Maybe the cure is at some point I will mature a bit more. Anywho I’ll come out a stronger person than most people I know.

when i talk to my mum about things that piss me on.. i often feel really good afterwars.. its like letting of steam.. but sometimes it doesnt solve the problem and still i feel like its not there anymore… which doesnt mean its repressed

sometimes problems solve themselves!

OK, i’ve never properly had depression, but when i’ve been really really really down, like when the girl i thought i loved rejected me, i find a listen to Alice in Chains’s seflt titled album works a treat cos at the end of it i realise my lie isn;t that bad as im not battleing herion addiction like Layne was for the band;s whole career. things could get alot lot worse.