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Funniest onstage quote/rant

#

Started by Egon Spengler in Therapy? Live

…from any member of the band

Was just thinking of a show i saw in early 2000 where some cock was shouting stuff out and Andy and Martin just completely verbally destroyed him for about 10 minutes and made the entire crowd laugh at them…this is actually a fairly rubbish example ‘cos i can’t remember exactly what was said, but presumably those of you who’ve been to a lot of their gigs or heard bootlegs will have better ones.They’re often quite the witty bunch.

Found this pretty funny as well.He’s fat and he’s a happy bastard oh yes.

Posted on Thu, 15 December 2005 at 14:50

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#1

Alan wrote:

It wasn’t a rant or anything, but the funniest thing I’ve seen Andy do was an air guitar solo, complete with comedy muso-esque pursed lips, during a gig in Brussels’93.

What made it funny was the fact that he actually had his guitar on him at the time.

Posted on Thu, 15 December 2005 at 16:12

#2

Cuchulain wrote:

Years ago at a T? gig in Doornroosje in Nijmegen ( the true Church of Noise ! ) Martin finished his beer in the middle of the set and asked to be transported to the bar for another one.

What followed was him stagediving , surfing his way over the crowd to the bar , nick some bottles of the bar and surf his way back to stage.
Plug back in and continue the set with the whole crowd completely in stitches with laughter.

Posted on Fri, 16 December 2005 at 11:07

#3

Idlevice2 wrote:

Andy-

‘Have you ever been to Belfast zoo?’

‘Have you ever been to Belfast zoo tripping on acid and gone to see the polar bears?’

‘Have you ever put the acid into the polar bear’s drinking water?’

‘Don’t look at at me…’

Kicks into Polar Bear.

Posted on Fri, 16 December 2005 at 12:33

#4

White Psycho wrote:

Some guy was shouting for them to play something, Andy replied “I am not a jukebox”

Some guy also shouted for Hypermania where Andy asked the guy why, as it was a shit song.

Posted on Fri, 16 December 2005 at 12:39

#5

buffalo-boy wrote:

Andy had a rant once where he slagged off Irish folk music which was hilarious saying it was music for tourists in Ireland.

Posted on Fri, 16 December 2005 at 13:01

#6

Cuchulain wrote:

Andy on the live DVD from Belfast slagging off Dublin and it’s boybands :D

Posted on Fri, 16 December 2005 at 16:28

#7

Shedfire wrote:

Andy this year in Tivoli (Utrecht, Holland): “Really, we won’t continue playing if we’re not told where to get some hookers for after the show”.

(Well this is the short version, but I seem to forget rants at concerts :))

Posted on Sun, 18 December 2005 at 19:47

#8

viking_pooh wrote:

Well not a rant, but Andy was hilarious at This Is Menace last night, if it’s a Fight Club inspired band, he must a be a wise old Kung Fu master, coming out wearing his glasses with his words in his hand, too old for all that jumping about screaming shenanigans, hes just there to do his job.

FUCKING AMAZING GIG!!!!!!!!!

i just hope the do another album cos theres so many people the should work with, like Jaz Coleman from Killing Joke, Page Hamilton from Helmet, Tommy Victor from Prong, Benji from Skindred to name but a few suggestions fro TIM 2

Posted on Mon, 19 December 2005 at 10:27

#9

Karl wrote:

I remember at Preston on Scopophobia when Martin wasn’t there, and everyone was asking where he was, and Andy turned round and said that he had had a gardening accident! Really put the crowds mind at rest :)

Posted on Tue, 20 December 2005 at 07:57

#10

deadsetgav wrote:

Ah - I remember that - very spinal tap :D

Posted on Tue, 20 December 2005 at 08:14

#11

Last Wave wrote:

viking_pooh wrote:

Well not a rant, but Andy was hilarious at This Is Menace last night, if it’s a Fight Club inspired band, he must a be a wise old Kung Fu master, coming out wearing his glasses with his words in his hand, too old for all that jumping about screaming shenanigans, hes just there to do his job.

FUCKING AMAZING GIG!!!!!!!!!

i just hope the do another album cos theres so many people the should work with, like Jaz Coleman from Killing Joke, Page Hamilton from Helmet, Tommy Victor from Prong, Benji from Skindred to name but a few suggestions fro TIM 2

The gig was great, and Jaz Coleman would be one of my picks for a second album. I think Benji might have done a song had Skindred not pulled out of the show. Barney from Napalm Death is rumoured to have worked on an unreleased menace track, and one of the rumours I heard is Nick Oliveri might be up for it come the second album (perhaps the album can be titled “The Second Coming” :p

Posted on Wed, 28 December 2005 at 18:02

#12

andys gibson sg (James Harris) wrote:

When watching them play at the Portsmouth Pyramid Center at the start some prick threw a cup of beer at the stage and went all over Andy’s pedals/effects - that wasn’t cool but the fact that he ask the person to come on stage to deal with him well… they may of had a cup then but at that point no one had the bottle ;)

Posted on Fri, 30 December 2005 at 12:28

#13

Taunty Dan wrote:

i saw ‘em at wolverhampton in 2001 (i think) and Andy kept going on about Human League who were playing next door at the same time. Also Michael wore a West Brom football shirt to piss off the Wolves fans, that was funny. He was also pointing a lot, but then he always does that.

Posted on Fri, 30 December 2005 at 13:01

#14

3ddo-on-the-balcony (eddo) wrote:

Too embarrased to admit, but Andy once asked me to give the band a blow-job. It was at De Melkweg (A’dam) Octobre 2004 (it was, wasn’t it?). Fortunately I was wearing a polar bear mask…up there one the balcony, thinking I was safe…

Posted on Sat, 31 December 2005 at 01:33

#15

RobbyVDH wrote:

So did you do it :D ?

Posted on Sat, 31 December 2005 at 10:31

#16

HurricaneHolgi (Holgi) wrote:

On a show in Hannover/Germany, I think it was in 98, durig the pause between the songs my friends and I started shouting completly pissed “ARSCHFICKEN”. It was quiet funny because most people looked a little bit shocked at us. They were wondering why we were doing that. And that was the reason why we were doing that. So after a while Martin asked a couple of times: “Arse… what ???” which made the whole crowd laugh. After all most people get the joke and some people joined us in in our shoutings. That was quiet funny.

So dont ask me what ARSCHFICKEN means. I wont tell :D

Cheers (and Happy New Year)

E.

Posted on Sat, 31 December 2005 at 11:30

#17

Gimme Back My Brainsaw (Mike Hunt) wrote:

I thought it was funny @ leeds cockpit in 2004 when they started playing teethgrinder but stooped and got the audience to sing the riff.

Posted on Sat, 31 December 2005 at 11:46

#18

hoochalobster (Sarah) Super Moderator wrote:

Heh heh, yeah that was cool.

It was November 22nd if memory serves me, 3ddo ;)

Posted on Sat, 31 December 2005 at 19:25

#19

MarkoJii (Ukko Perkele) wrote:

gimmebackmybrainsaw wrote:

I thought it was funny @ leeds cockpit in 2004 when they started playing teethgrinder but stooped and got the audience to sing the riff.

They did that at Oxford too… ;)

Posted on Mon, 2 January 2006 at 08:53

#20

3ddo-on-the-balcony (eddo) wrote:

hoochalobster wrote:

It was November 22nd if memory serves me, 3ddo ;)

it was, thanks Hooch. how could i forget :rolleyes:

Posted on Thu, 5 January 2006 at 19:20

#21

hoochalobster (Sarah) Super Moderator wrote:

:p I only remember cause it was my daughter’s birthday the next day and I had such a trauma getting to the airport in time!

Posted on Thu, 5 January 2006 at 19:49

#22

3ddo-on-the-balcony (eddo) wrote:

I remember that quite well, Hooch. Hope to meet you again in 2006 at one of the T? gigs. Happy New Year by the way!

Posted on Thu, 5 January 2006 at 23:27

#23

Dennis wrote:

Taunty Dan wrote:

i saw ‘em at wolverhampton in 2001 (i think)… Michael wore a West Brom football shirt to piss off the Wolves fans.

He did WHAT?!?!?! A (spits)WEST BROM shirt?!

I will be putting all my T? albums on eBay later this afternoon…

Posted on Fri, 6 January 2006 at 10:02

#24

Gimme Back My Brainsaw (Mike Hunt) wrote:

I cant wait to see t? live, i hope to meet some of you WoMbles during the tour.

Posted on Fri, 6 January 2006 at 12:17

#25

Duca wrote:

Andy said in Belgium once that the Dutch were able to scream louder than us :D he was just doing that to make us screaming like a madman :p

Posted on Thu, 12 January 2006 at 16:15

#26

Taunty Dan wrote:

Dennis wrote:

He did WHAT?!?!?! A (spits)WEST BROM shirt?!

I will be putting all my T? albums on eBay later this afternoon…

Ha!! that was the exact reaction of at least half the crowd!

Does anyone actually like West Brom??! I just find it amusing. Its not disliking, its actual real hatred!

Posted on Thu, 12 January 2006 at 16:40

#27

Taunty Dan wrote:

gimmebackmybrainsaw wrote:

I cant wait to see t? live, i hope to meet some of you WoMbles during the tour.

Yeah man, me too. Theres always a good buzz when the T? lads are around! :)

Posted on Thu, 12 January 2006 at 16:43

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