#17,491
Jess wrote:
Sorry to butt in but i’ve just been sent this and how true it is:
It is good to be a woman:
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3 Taxis stop for us.
4. We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don’t have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren’t listening anyway.
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 10:47
#17,492
Taunty Dan wrote:
You people! How fcuking rude!!! You should’ve been pining, PINING dammit!! Its been a week! Did you not see the newspapers and milk bottles piling up outside??
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 10:47
#17,493
Dennis wrote:
Who is Taunty Dan?
And reasons why it is good to be a man:
1. It means we aren’t women.
Just the one reason, but I think it trumps your sexist propaganda, darling.
:D
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 10:53
#17,494
Divers (Simon) wrote:
Hi dan you say you’ve been away, i thought i spoke to you yesterday…oh well.
Jess i don’t have to picture people naked it just cheers me up:)
right bye people if i don’t see ya have a good one:)
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 10:53
#17,495
Jess wrote:
It made me laugh, Dennis, never call me Darling
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 10:57
#17,496
Hooch's mum (mrs h the 1st) wrote:
Taunty Dan wrote:
Did you not see the newspapers and milk bottles piling up outside??
Sorry, I thought it was a political statement. If I had known I would have fed the cat :(
@ Dennis - Dennis, meet Dan. Dan, Dennis :)
@ Divers - where are you going? :(
@ Jess - :D I might email you a few of my own! ;)
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:00
#17,497
Jess wrote:
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:00
#17,498
Dennis wrote:
Jess wrote:
It made me laugh, Dennis, never call me Darling
I know, I was only pulling your leg, I ain’t a neanderthal, Loaded-reading “bloke” really.
Sometimes I envy you women, especially with those lovely high-heeled shoes you get to wear and those great frocks…I mean, it’s not like I ALWAYS try them on when the wife’s out, I mean, it’s just curiosity, right? Every man does that once in a while…don’t they?!
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:01
#17,499
Taunty Dan wrote:
Divers wrote:
Hi dan you say you’ve been away, i thought i spoke to you yesterday…oh well.
Well, i’ve been away from THIS thread anyway. I just can’t believe you’ve all got on with your lives! :D
Anyhoo:
Dennis: I am Dan. Hello.
Divers: Heard your track last night, good stuff man.
Mrs H: It WAS a political statement, but no-one knew that! I really could’ve been dead or injured! Or watching the tv in my pants with a 7 day beard growth on the go. Ooh, thats gonna be attractive.
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:09
#17,500
Hooch's mum (mrs h the 1st) wrote:
Sorry Dan :( Next time I will bring the emergency services and kick your door down straight away :)
Quote from Daisy:
“When the church was on fire did lots of firemen come to blow it out?” :D
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:15
#17,501
Dennis wrote:
Oh shit. I just realised that there is more than one page to this thread!
Why didn’t one of you fuckers write PTO at the bottom to help me out, huh?
:mad:
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:16
#17,502
joseph? wrote:
:D
I love reading these threads.
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:22
#17,503
Hooch's mum (mrs h the 1st) wrote:
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:26
#17,504
Gimme Back My Brainsaw (Mike Hunt) wrote:
good mawning, i should be in school but im still ill so rock on! (missing sex ed right now :( )
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:27
#17,505
Taunty Dan wrote:
Hooch’s mum wrote:
Quote from Daisy:
“When the church was on fire did lots of firemen come to blow it out?” :D
well…? Did they? Or did they cheat and use water?
If theres one thing i hate its cheating firemen.
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:27
#17,506
joseph? wrote:
gimmebackmybrainsaw wrote:
good mawning, i should be in school but im still ill so rock on! (missing sex ed right now :( )
Nevermind, all I remember from those lessons is how different people wank.
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:28
#17,507
Dennis wrote:
joseph? wrote:
Nevermind, all I remember from those lessons is how different people wank.
Really?!
I don’t remember that!
man, things have changed since my day…although to be fair, I think since I was at school there has been scientific evidence proving once and for all that storks do NOT deliver babies.
…just margerine-type spread.
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:32
#17,508
joseph? wrote:
We got shown a cartoon video of how people like different techniques, some looked like squeezing a lemon.
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:34
#17,509
Dennis wrote:
Squeezing a lemon?! I ain’t letting anyone do that to MY private-and-confidentials!! :eek:
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:35
#17,510
Gimme Back My Brainsaw (Mike Hunt) wrote:
nah we dont do things quite exciting we just put condoms on dildos :eek: and we get shown pics of dead bodies that have died from hiv
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:35
#17,511
joseph? wrote:
Your not missing much then.
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:39
#17,512
Taunty Dan wrote:
gimmebackmybrainsaw wrote:
nah we dont do things quite exciting we just put condoms on dildos :eek:
well thats not right for a start, as far as i’m aware you aint gonna get pregnant from a dildo. Unless i’ve been grossly misinformed…
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:40
#17,513
Gimme Back My Brainsaw (Mike Hunt) wrote:
no but you can get diseases from the dildo…
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:41
#17,514
Hooch's mum (mrs h the 1st) wrote:
gimmebackmybrainsaw wrote:
and we get shown pics of dead bodies that have died from hiv
*worries*
So they haven’t bothered to teach you that HIV doesn’t kill you? - it’s AIDS that can kill you…
*works it out*
So you go to a catholic school then? :)
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:41
#17,515
Hooch's mum (mrs h the 1st) wrote:
gimmebackmybrainsaw wrote:
no but you can get diseases from the dildo…
Why? What do you do with them? :eek:
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:42
#17,516
Dennis wrote:
Do they teach you anything nice about sex?!
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:43
#17,517
joseph? wrote:
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:45
#17,518
Gimme Back My Brainsaw (Mike Hunt) wrote:
nope we just learn about diseases and why the only 100% way to have safe sex is to not have sex.
Its pretty funny that my ICT teacher teaches me sex too, i had alot of fun in ICT talking about how i’d just had sex with our teacher :p
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:45
#17,519
Taunty Dan wrote:
Dennis wrote:
Do they teach you anything nice about sex?!
:D
its a bit grim isn’t it?
Back in my day sex was something you did not studied!
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:46
#17,520
Hooch's mum (mrs h the 1st) wrote:
Posted on Fri, 3 March 2006 at 11:47
