Wall of Mouths

hoochalobster wrote:

Morning Simon - wasn’t expecting you for another 3 hours or so!

so was I but people hoovering outside my room woke me

hoochalobster wrote:

Hoovering? At this hour? I’m outraged on your behalf. Also pretty outraged that my sister has been home for nearly 20 minutes and I still don’t have a cup of tea.

you mean your brother called brock ;)

gimmebackmybrainsaw wrote:

you mean your brother called brock ;)

isn’t that a type of green vegetable?

-dj lethal

gimmebackmybrainsaw wrote:

no but you are ;)

I resent that… im not actualy green :P

-lethal

How the hell does that work?

hitler was austrian his mum was a jew and hitler was black

hitlers against the things he is

so he must be gay as well :)

@G_w - Brock is an affectionate term for a badger.

Can I be in your play thingy?

I am 150 years old and live in an ice palace on a little island off the Alaskan coast. I have a string of servants and I only eat endangered animals. I also have many and varied superpowers, which I use arbitrarily for good or evil. I am also ridiculously beautiful, intelligent and witty as well as modest and demure. And I like to drive big trucks. And I am a red indian. :)

Damn :( I wouldn’t know where to start.

How are you? And Mrs Dr Bomb? Having a good weekend?

Edit: @G_w - I love the idea of a suburban city! :p

I will smack them in the mouth then :mad:

:mad:

I will smack you in the mouth then!

And if it’s your English coursework you will need to remember to write you’re when it’s short for ‘you are’ :)

The story is to be located in an unnamed suburban American city
The story will be set in peoples houses, aboard a spaceship In a college and in the streets.
CHARACTERS

Justin Mathews
early 20’s
lives with his parents
Has no Brothers or Sister
only recently moved into this city from Los Angles
Has only just started his new college
used to be really popular in Los Angles
Is an extrovert
Is a very keen American Football player
Likes whatever everyone else likes
Is a follower

Brock Kennedy
early 20’s
Lives with his mum and sister
college student
he has a sister called Sarah
Has always been very popular and had lots of friends
nasty to his sister
Is an extrovert
Plays American football although he has no real talent at it
all his friends tend to follow his fashion sense and taste in music
he is a leader

Sarah Kennedy
Early 20’s
Lives with mum and brother
college student
Has a Brother called Brock
Has always been a social outcast
her brother is nasty to her
Is an introvert
Jacob Smith has a secret crush on her
has a talent for painting abstract images
always dressed in black
likes music that was once popular but now isnt
Fear of money and success
has a very dark sense of humor
is a leader
distances herself from other people.

Judith Simmons
early 50’s
A lecturer at the college
lives on her own in an apartment
her husband died a few years ago
Has a huge intrest in paranormal things
delivers lectures on theorys of evolution
Doesnt get on with the other lectures as they think shes crazy
is an introvert
spends her time trying to find evidence of Aliens exsistence
believes that aliens evolved from humans

Jacob Smith
early ’20s
college student
lives with his mum dad and younger brother and sisters
is Brock Kennedys best friend
secreltly fancies Brocks siter Sarah but when with Brock
always puts her down and his mean to her
Is really talent at American Football
Is always in fights maily because Brock winds him up into getting in fights

SYNOPOSIS

A dark foggy night, black sky a flying saucer flys past.
A shot of a college on a sunny day, people entering it, Brock and Jacob walking together with 5 other people, Sarah walking in front of them, they’re shouting at Sarah. Justin gets out of car, immediately goes to talk to Brock and his gang, he tries really hard to impress them, they tell him to get lost. Justin doesnt know where hes going so asks Sarah for directions she tells him where to go and tells him that its not worth talking to Brock and his gang, they walk past and shout stuff at Sarah, Justin joins in. Justin arrives at a lecture, he sits down next to Jacob, Sarah sits in front, Justin goes to say something to her but Jacob tells him to leave it.. Judith enters room and starts giving a lecture regarding aliens. After the lecture Brock is waiting outside for Justin and Jacob, Justin then starts shouting stuff at Sarah. Sarah lying in a bed, her mum shouts her to wake up she opens her eyes but cant move and sees a shadow flash past. She regains conciousness. She goes downstaris for breakfast, her mum and brock are at the table brock is being mean to her. In college Justin, Jacob and Sarah are in Judith’s lecture, she talks about signs of Alien abduction. After the lecture Sarah looks at her watch the time says 11.00 pm, she gets lost and looks at it again and it says 12.00, she then wakes up unsure wether all of that was a dream or not. Jacob who lives across the road looks out his window looking worried and distressed,

Hooch’s mum wrote:

It’s still quite a good idea to check your spelling! :p

so what do you think of my story then?

Would you rather I was very nice, brutally honest or constructively critical? :)

Ok :)

Judith, Justin and Jacob is hard to follow - I kept forgetting which one was supposed to be Jacob and which one was Justin. If you made their names a bit different it would be easier to read :)

Brock is an awful name! *hopes Gw’s dad isn’t called Brock ;)*

It doesn’t make any chronological sense the way it is written. they’re in a lecture, then they’re not, then they are. Justin asks Sarah for directions and then starts shouting stuff at her? I think we need to know what is going on in his head … It’s just a bit confusing :)

I have to go now but seriously if you want to get it written in a word document or something and email it to me when you’re done I will give you some proper comments and send it back to you :)

‘Ello ‘ello ‘ello, what’s all this then? Actually, don’t answer that. I’ll hazard a guess: a load of bollocks :D