Wall of Mouths

Hooch’s mum wrote:

Here is tomorrow’s birthday programme:-
6 - Heysatan will recite some of the more entertaining passages from ‘Titus Andromecus’

Better get revising, oh hang is it too late isn’t it?!

*Sings*

Happy birthday to you…

I remember this time last year…

Wait, no I don’t! :eek: *panics*

Oh, happy birthday GM.

Now I remember why I started spending less time at the WoM. :D

The first shoes were actually two handbags which were incredibly badly made - they were thrown on the floor in a fit of rage by Geraldine McIlhenny in an Antrim handbag factory in 1872 and as she stomped on them they became hooked around her toes, and she realised that it stopped the nails in the floorboards puncturing her feet.

Realising the potential of her mistake, Geraldine started to wear these wherever she went, but it wasn’t until she met Richard Clark from Keswick that the concept took off.

Clark had never seen a woman with such exotic looking feet before and fell into a deep physical infatuation with the girl and crafted her the very first pair of “fuck-me” boots. These were practical and exciting (a long time before the Skoda Octavia) and not only halted the progress of gangrene in her legs, but also made her taller, with slimmer calves and a perter bottom. Richard and Geraldine had 2 children, but it was an intrinsically flawed union, as Richard was a gay midget hermaphrodite and died aged 27, leaving Geraldine to raise the children alone. She died not long after of a broken heart and “shoes” as they were called were long forgoten until little Connor Clark, their son stumbled across his mother’s fuck-me boots in her possessions.

Always an incestuous, but entreprenurial little scamp, he was fascinated by the discovery and in between defiling his mother’s corpse began to produce replicas, initially as a tribute but then to make money. He was an unbelievably good looking young man, and was often courted by the most beautiful girls in town. He would dress them up in his mother’s replica boots and they soon realised the practical applicatins and kept them.

The rest, as they say, is history. Nowadays we all cover our feet in the deformed reject handbags made by the offspring of a Northern Irish slut and a gay midget hermaphrodite. We call them shoes.

Thankyou - I will be available in the lobby to answer any questions.

Happy Birthday GM

lmao :D well done :)

*claps politely and waits for the next act :D*

A year ago i was posting on here with a hangover… talking about Mrs H’s nine foot cock:).. and accusing some woman from comic relief for stealing my sandwich (which was behind me!).

Soon after i made my first trip to Leeds and was pissed for three days.:)

Hooch’s mum wrote:

Well. What can i tell you? I’ve never visited this site before, and i’m not interested in Therapy? (apart from i really liked Screamager) but i have a problem on my hands and that problem is Hooch. And Daryl. I invited them round for a meal and all they’re doing is holding hands and rubbing themselves together in a truly disgusting manner. Frankly I’m appalled. The only times they have bothered to speak to me is when their tongues have unlocked themselves because one or the other of them is dying of thirst. I’m bitterly disappointed, (i had hopes for my daughter to marry Prince William). It has all gone horribly wrong. If anyone out there can help me to salvage this hideous man-made disaster then please get in touch asap. They’re planning to marry next Tuesday and I need some serious objections from the congregation. Thank you for taking the time to read this message. Now please help me to live again…

Thats how it all started :)

Happy birthday GM, although I was not here from the beginning I’ve come to love this thread for it’s debauchery and surrealness :D

What do we think? *does twirl*

That just scares me.
Hmm, after careful editing:

I went to a gig with tosser on my head once :(

Colin? wrote:

Now what time do I have to play with funny coloured stuff? :)

Caffeinebomb went ahead without you, so you can do your Tom cruise style cocktail display whenever you’re ready as we’re still waiting for Tinne :)

anyway… whats happening with you today then dear?

I’m currently looking like a quick fit fitter as i have a boiler suit on so i can decorate ome of the studios i’m that bored:)

Later on we are going to take you on a little boat trip…once the crane as retrieved it from the bottom of the sea:)

Hello Hanne :) How are you celebrating this glorious day? (Apart from being here and eating all the sandwiches) :)

Im Back!! Nenenenenene!!!!!

Sorry I Was gone for soooooo long!! Colin? Kidnapped me!!!!!!!

Hehehehe

Anyhoo happy birthday!!!!!