Wall of Mouths

The Samaritans hung up on me and told me to “get a fucking life, god even WE have our limitations, you sad prick”

At least, I think they did, I may well have phoned my boss by mistake, they are next to each other on my speed dials

?!

HOW do you find these things out?!

Seriously, you are freaking me out now. Stop following me around everywhere and going through my mail, and PLEASE stop hiding porn mags around the house that my wife finds and blames on ME…

*tries to look indignant and totally innocent at the same time. Fails on both counts*

its not MY fault you handcuffed me to you and then lost the key! :mad:

Ah Dennis.. or should I call you “Rock N Roll Dave” you know what I’m talking about..I was just flicking round a few band websites and I see you have been Whoring yourself around and getting *takes deep breath* OTHER friends incase we turn on you…again:eek:

mrs h wrote:

Has it crossed your mind that whilst on hold you could be using the new ventyourspleen online service? Simply type in lots of personal information to our secure* system and you could be venting your spleen absolutely free for the whole of March! For more details just visit ventyourspleen.co.uk and lose your place in the phone queue right now

…

You are through to the offices of ventyourspleen international. Unfortunately our offices are now closed. Please call again at 4.37 on Tuesdays.”

Unfortunately our recorded messages are now closed. If you are experiencing an emergency please visit ventyourspleen.co.uk and submit your query. ventyourspleen.co.uk is open from monday to tuesday 8am - 12 minutes later.

Thank you for your call.

Here at ventyourspleen.co.uk we employ only the most inept human beings. Our highly undertrained staff are here in body 24 hours a day* to unhelpfully assist with any query you may have. Even the most straightforward of questions will test our Operatives intellects to their breaking points; any more than that and we will be happy to put you on hold for 30 minutes while we run around trying to find the answer. We will then come back to you with a completely unsatisfactory result, lose our patience and put you through to someone else. After a short to long wait you will be told that this is the wrong department and put back through to the original number you phoned and a completely different operative so you can repeat your story once again to no result.

*(and in mind for the first 4 minutes of their working day)

Does anyone heere actually work for a call centre, do you have anything to say for yourselves?

Guess I would be perfect for a call centre then… nearly all my work places have very early on banned me from answering the phone as they keep more customers that way.. supposedly when the receptionist puts through someone who you don’t wish to talk to you don’t answer it saying “oh fucking hell”:rolleyes:

Quote (author unknown):

(*ie read magazines and occasionally look at the numbers on my screen to see how it was going)

So you did work on the phones! ;)

hes doing a great job..

…rather similar to moneybags Sven :mad:

FUCKING BASTARD I WANNA CUT HIS FINGERS OFF AND JUMP UP AND DOWN ON HIS WRISTS UNTIL THEY SNAP LIKE TWIGS!

Ahem, sorry. I just watched a clip of Lindsey Buckingham doing Big Love solo acoustic and now I want to kill the fucker.

Seriously, check it out on youtube if you don’t know what I mean. Amazing playing. The cunt.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I have Fleetwood Mac posters up all over the walls.

*looks at recently removed Fleetwood Mac posters lying on the floor*

Ahem

Fuck all financial institutions. In fact don’t just fuck them - destroy them, utterly and without remorse.

I have slept with several banks over the last six years ;)

mr self destruct wrote:

I have slept with several banks over the last six years ;)

But every time, you eventually lost interest. ;)