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Put Down’s

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Started by The Auto Surgeon (Mark) in Chit-Chat

As 30 secs max gave us the thread of “chat up lines”, I thought it would be interesting to what witty/funny/truely insulting put downs people have had.

One of my many was what I overheard on my blind date with a mates girlfriends friend - “I can’t go out with him, he’s so ugly he looks like he’s hit a wall at speed!”

Posted on Thu, 19 April 2007 at 18:24

You’re viewing replies 1–29 of 29 by 14 people

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#1

Pip (Philip Kelly) wrote:

“Your Fat and ugly now piss off” that’s a good one

Posted on Thu, 19 April 2007 at 18:35

#2

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

Yeah, like haven’t had that one a few hundred times … a night (not that I’m lonely or desperate or anything). :(

Posted on Thu, 19 April 2007 at 18:38

#3

Pip (Philip Kelly) wrote:

You’re just talking to the wrong woman lower you’re standards man ;) and live a happier yet unsatisfing life :(

Posted on Thu, 19 April 2007 at 18:43

#4

Fungus Growth wrote:

“Oi ugly!,
no not YOU!
You’re fucking ugly!”

Posted on Thu, 19 April 2007 at 18:44

#5

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

Pip wrote:

You’re just talking to the wrong woman lower you’re standards man ;) and live a happier yet unsatisfing life :(

I AM living unsatisfing life, but that’s another story from about 10 years ago.

If I lower my standards anymore, farmers would consider me a threat to their livestock! :(

Posted on Thu, 19 April 2007 at 18:54

#6

Viirkokka wrote:

Not that I heard it but I was told the next day..

My friend: “So have you and (my name) got something going on?”

The girl: “Oh god no; get him away from me!”

But I can live with that since she wasn’t nice anyway. Plus a little bit after I got my great gf :D

Posted on Thu, 19 April 2007 at 18:54

#7

hoochalobster (Sarah) Super Moderator wrote:

Can someone confirm for me that ‘psycho hosebeast’ is a real insult, and that Wayne (or possibly Garth) referred to Stacey as ‘the psycho hosebeast’ in Wayne’s World?

I said it to my flatmate yesterday and have been mocked mercilessly as nobody believes me and I was unable to describe in detail exactly what I thought a hosebeast was :(

Posted on Thu, 19 April 2007 at 21:29

#8

andys gibson sg (James Harris) wrote:

Best thing to do is to call people silly baby made up names like ‘fathead’, ‘stupid pants’ or ‘poo poo face’ to someone who tries really hard to curse at you, trust me it drives em up the fucking wall ;)

Posted on Thu, 19 April 2007 at 21:38

#9

Viirkokka wrote:

haha stupid pants..

Posted on Thu, 19 April 2007 at 21:46

#10

andys gibson sg (James Harris) wrote:

Ahh, you f**king, s**t p**s c**t satanic dishwasher proped up sausage! :mad:

See it works mate… I was in a right tisel! ;)

Posted on Thu, 19 April 2007 at 21:49

#11

Teethgrinder (René Fennema) Administrator wrote:

hoochalobster wrote:

Can someone confirm for me that ‘psycho hosebeast’ is a real insult, and that Wayne (or possibly Garth) referred to Stacey as ‘the psycho hosebeast’ in Wayne’s World?

Urban Dictionary (psycho hosebeast and hosebeast) and Wikipedia (first sentence in the Plot section) agree with you, so you can now mock them back :-)

Posted on Fri, 20 April 2007 at 07:17

#12

hoochalobster (Sarah) Super Moderator wrote:

Legend! :D

Posted on Fri, 20 April 2007 at 09:58

#13

marja (sinner) wrote:

a friend of mine once told a girl:

“you have a very nice behind, just like a deer, or how does that animal with the trunk called”

:D

Posted on Fri, 20 April 2007 at 10:09

#14

Divers (Simon) wrote:

I should be really good at this as I spend my life taking the piss, but i have drawn a blank… maybe i’m just better in the moment.. or maybe i lost my powers when i cut all my hair off:eek:

andys gibson sg wrote:

Best thing to do is to call people silly baby made up names like ‘fathead’, ‘stupid pants’ or ‘poo poo face’ to someone who tries really hard to curse at you, trust me it drives em up the fucking wall ;)

The only flaw i can see with this is if it’s not someone you know well… as some people I know would just punch you in the face if you annoyed them, as their theory is it’s hard to talk back if you have no teeth.;)

Posted on Fri, 20 April 2007 at 11:12

#15

andys gibson sg (James Harris) wrote:

Those friends… they like christmas? :D

Posted on Fri, 20 April 2007 at 11:50

#16

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

And fresh from last night -

“Sorry I only go out with blokes who have smaller tits than me!!” :(

Now to become a hermit, with an internet link. :(

Posted on Sat, 21 April 2007 at 11:05

#17

Charlie wrote:

I would only piss on you if you werent on fire. :o

Posted on Sat, 21 April 2007 at 11:16

#18

30 secs max wrote:

an x girlfriend once called me a “guttersnipe” as a parting shot. bitter words indeed. :(

Posted on Sat, 21 April 2007 at 14:00

#19

30 secs max wrote:

ive just looked up guttersnipe in the dictionary. it reads “a neglected child from a slum area” haa, she wasnt a million miles away afterall!

Posted on Sat, 21 April 2007 at 14:30

#20

Beefgrinder wrote:

I can’t see you anymore. It’s not me, it’s you.

Posted on Sun, 22 April 2007 at 13:13

#21

Beefgrinder wrote:

No, actually, that was fucking poor. Sorry.

Posted on Sun, 22 April 2007 at 13:13

#22

mrs h wrote:

Actually I thought that was rather sophisticated and quite amusing. It would have to be done in a sad voice over dinner though :)

Posted on Sun, 22 April 2007 at 13:23

#23

andys gibson sg (James Harris) wrote:

Breaking up through emails or txt messages - I’d gather that would be a put down.

Posted on Sun, 22 April 2007 at 13:24

#24

mrs h wrote:

Nah - that would just be a cowards way out.

I always admire those women who take revenge on their unfaithful partners in really extreme ways, like that woman who got her husbands entire collection of vintage wines and went round her village at night leaving bottles on people’s doorsteps :) Then she went home and cut the sleeves off all his saville row suits and poured paint all over his car. well played, that woman - words would never have sufficed …

Posted on Sun, 22 April 2007 at 13:29

#25

andys gibson sg (James Harris) wrote:

Have u seen ‘spit on your grave’? - ouch! :(

Posted on Sun, 22 April 2007 at 13:36

#26

mrs h wrote:

No, what happens?

Posted on Sun, 22 April 2007 at 13:42

#27

Dusty (Chris Davies) wrote:

andys gibson sg wrote:

Have u seen ‘spit on your grave’? - ouch! :(

One of the most horrible films ever. I even felt sick watching that one.

I dunno who to feel sorry for in that one , her or the one she kills in the bath :(

Posted on Sun, 22 April 2007 at 13:45

#28

andys gibson sg (James Harris) wrote:

you’ve got the knives? SHE had the knives in that film!!

:(

Posted on Sun, 22 April 2007 at 18:09

#29

The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:

mrs h wrote:

I always admire those women who take revenge on their unfaithful partners in really extreme ways, like that woman who got her husbands entire collection of vintage wines and went round her village at night leaving bottles on people’s doorsteps :) Then she went home and cut the sleeves off all his saville row suits and poured paint all over his car. well played, that woman - words would never have sufficed …

So do you think Mrs Bobbit was within her rights to cut Mr Bobbit’s “membership”??

Posted on Sun, 22 April 2007 at 19:25

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