#631
stiff (Ben Walton) wrote:
what’s black, blue and in my closet?
your mum.
god…you lot bored of me yet?!
Bx
Posted on Mon, 29 January 2007 at 16:49
#632
Taunty Dan wrote:
Posted on Mon, 29 January 2007 at 16:51
#633
stiff (Ben Walton) wrote:
looks like mr. cynical is in the audience tonight…
Posted on Mon, 29 January 2007 at 19:34
#634
Misanthropologist (d) wrote:
And he’s brought his family.
:p
Posted on Mon, 29 January 2007 at 20:10
#635
Superunknown wrote:
Taunty Dan wrote:
:D That made me laugh more than any of the jokes in here. Well, except for maybe the German ones as they are really good.
Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 04:48
#636
Taunty Dan wrote:
Posted on Tue, 30 January 2007 at 10:30
#637
30 secs max wrote:
how long does it take for an english woman to have a shit? 9 months.
Posted on Wed, 31 January 2007 at 00:43
#638
30 secs max wrote:
or, what sexual position produses the uglyst children? ask yer mother.
Posted on Wed, 31 January 2007 at 00:45
#639
30 secs max wrote:
mira hindly was walking through the moors with a kid when the kid says “its scary walking round here at night” mira says “how do you think i feel, ive gotta walk home alone”
Posted on Wed, 31 January 2007 at 00:56
#640
stiff (Ben Walton) wrote:
apparently kurt cobain had quite bad dandruff.
they found his head and shoulders behind the sofa.
what did stevie wonder’s mum used to do for punishment?
rearrange the furniture :D
Posted on Tue, 10 April 2007 at 21:02
#641
Superunknown wrote:
Why can’t ants be catholic?
Because they’re in sects.
Posted on Thu, 12 April 2007 at 16:57
#642
Sylvestre Matuschka wrote:
Title: I saw two deaf lesbians today. (merged)
They had their hands down each others’ pants. I think they were lip reading…
:D
Posted on Thu, 17 May 2007 at 21:54
#643
30 secs max wrote:
i heard that one when i was at school and that wasnt yesterday, i can tell you.
Posted on Thu, 17 May 2007 at 21:58
#644
Sylvestre Matuschka wrote:
well you should have realised the joke before reading it then… :p
Posted on Thu, 17 May 2007 at 22:05
#645
King Caffeinebomb I wrote:
Posted on Thu, 17 May 2007 at 22:43
#646
Divers (Simon) wrote:
Title: Well i haven’t posted one in a while
A young couple who had just met at a party, decide to leave together.
They walk hand in hand and, as they stroll, the young man’s lustful desire rises to a peak.
He is just about to get frisky when the young woman says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I really do need to have a piss.”
Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a hedge. She nods in agreement and disappears behind the hedge.
As he waits, he can hear the sound of tight panties sliding down her long legs and he imagines what loveliness is being exposed.
Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, and touches her smooth, bare leg.
He gently brings his hand further up to her thigh until suddenly, and with great astonishment, he finds himself gripping a long, warm, thick appendage hanging between her legs.
He gasps in horror, My God Mary have you changed your sex!?
No, she replies, I’ve changed my mind; I’m having a shit instead.
Posted on Tue, 7 August 2007 at 06:22
#647
chr1s (The T.F.M) wrote:
Whats the difference between a prostitute and a bowling ball?
Nothing… They both get picked up, fingered and banged down an alley!!!!
Posted on Tue, 7 August 2007 at 11:35
#648
Gimme Back My Brainsaw (Mike Hunt) wrote:
I came up with such a terrible joke last night
What did they say to the gay guy?
Ignore Anus!
:rolleyes:
Posted on Tue, 7 August 2007 at 12:46
#649
Charlie wrote:
Here is one joke i made up last night.
What did the chef say to the incompetent assistant who bought the wrong herbs and fish ?
This is not the Thyme or the Plaice
:D
Posted on Tue, 7 August 2007 at 12:55
#650
Cuchulain wrote:
Did you hear the one about the dyslectic pimp ?
He bought a warehouse.
Posted on Tue, 7 August 2007 at 13:46
#651
30 secs max wrote:
how do you get a fat bird into bed?
piece of cake.
Posted on Tue, 7 August 2007 at 16:10
#652
Divers (Simon) wrote:
two sperms swimming along one turns to the other and says
“do you think it’s far to the fallopian tubes?”
The other one answers
“it will be a little way yet, we are only just going past the tonsils”
Posted on Fri, 10 August 2007 at 13:17
#653
Lola* wrote:
A Paddy walking through a field sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.
The Paddy shouts “Na ól an t-uisce, tá sé lan de chac bó” (Don’t drink the water, it’s full of cowsh*te).
The Englishman shouts back, “I’m English, I don’t understand you, can you say that in English please?”
Paddy: “Use both hands, you’ll get more in”.
Posted on Fri, 17 August 2007 at 07:54
#654
chr1s (The T.F.M) wrote:
Wife gets naked and asks hubby
“What turns you on the most about me? My Pretty face or my sexy body?”
Hubby looks her up and down then replies
“Your fucking sense of humour!!”
Posted on Fri, 17 August 2007 at 10:39
#655
chr1s (The T.F.M) wrote:
NEW POWDER FORM VIAGARA NOW AVAILABLE.
Put it in your tea. It does fuck all for your erections, but it stops your biscuits going soft.
Posted on Fri, 17 August 2007 at 10:40
#656
The Auto Surgeon (Mark) wrote:
John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area.
After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, “Are these plates clean?”
His grandfather replied, “They’re as clean as cold water can get them. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!”
For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, “Are you sure these plates are clean?” Without looking up the old man said, “I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as Cold Water can get them. Now don’t you fret, I don’t want to hear another word about it!”
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass. John yelled and said, “Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car”.
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted …
“COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN!!!!”
Meet Coldwater…
Posted on Sat, 18 August 2007 at 11:48
#657
Charlie wrote:
Why was G Major arrested ?
Because he molested A Minor.
Posted on Sun, 19 August 2007 at 18:28
#658
chr1s (The T.F.M) wrote:
Need some advice. I’ve just been offered 8 venison legs for £50. Is that 2 deer?
Posted on Thu, 30 August 2007 at 09:51
#659
Charlie wrote:
Haha - that was pretty funny :D
Posted on Thu, 30 August 2007 at 14:44
#660
chr1s (The T.F.M) wrote:
Posted on Thu, 30 August 2007 at 14:49
