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Some personal advice needed

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Started by Dennis in Chit-Chat

I have wood coming up so how to I get her to satisfy me with what I really want?

Sorry, to explain a little better: Next year in June it will be my (and purely by coincidence my wife’s also) fifth wedding anniversary, which I have read is “wood”, in the same way that 25 is silver, 50 is gold etc etc.

So, of course, the first thing I said was: Wood? That’ll mean you’re buying me a new guitar, right? :D

She says: YOU CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF!

So, any handy tips from fellow plank-spankers as to how to get my wife to indulge me?

Posted on Thu, 20 December 2007 at 13:35

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#1

mrs h wrote:

Haven’t you already got loads of guitars?

If you were a decent human being you would ask her to have a tree planted on your behalf. Preferably in Borneo, where the people are on the edge of starvation because of deforestation :mad:

On the other hand, how moving would it be if she were to carve you a simple wooden heart with her own hands? :)

Posted on Thu, 20 December 2007 at 14:03

#2

Dennis wrote:

*suspicious*

You’re female, aren’t you…?

Posted on Thu, 20 December 2007 at 14:07

#3

mrs h wrote:

Are you trying to say that you wanted male wombles to tell you how to get what what you want from a woman? :D

Ok. Good luck :p

*wanders off still giggling*

*puts £500 on mrs Dennis to win*

Posted on Thu, 20 December 2007 at 14:12

#4

Dennis wrote:

You weren’t telling me how to get what I want from a woman, you were telling me how to get WHAT A WOMAN WANTS ME TO WANT from a woman.

Typical female response :rolleyes:

Posted on Thu, 20 December 2007 at 14:14

#5

mrs h wrote:

Well if you let me carry on then it won’t be long before you realise what it is that you really wanted in the first place - which isn’t a guitar at all, it is your lovely wife’s continued happiness. :)

Posted on Thu, 20 December 2007 at 14:21

#6

Cuchulain wrote:

Just give her one of these. She’ll be forever grateful !

http://img.2dehands.nl/f/normal/29210000-keukentje-houten-oventje-fornuisje-keuken.jpg

Posted on Thu, 20 December 2007 at 14:48

#7

mrs h wrote:

Because after she has minced up your corpse she will have a suitable container to use when burning your remains :)

Posted on Thu, 20 December 2007 at 15:01

#8

Taunty Dan wrote:

mrs h wrote:

Preferably in Borneo, where the people are on the edge of starvation because of deforestation :mad:

Mate don’t listen to her, if these fok are already on the brink of starvation then one more tree aint gonna help, get a new guitar man! J Masics signature series jazzmaster, do it!!!

Posted on Thu, 20 December 2007 at 18:14 in reply to an earlier post

Last edited by Teethgrinder on Thu, 20 December 2007 at 18:58 (Corrected use of quotes)

#9

Misanthropologist (d) wrote:

mrs h wrote:

it is your lovely wife’s continued happiness. :)

And, obviously, she wants the same for him, right? Right?

Right? :s

Posted on Thu, 20 December 2007 at 19:26 in reply to an earlier post

Last edited by Teethgrinder on Fri, 21 December 2007 at 08:36 (Corrected use of quotes)

#10

mrs h wrote:

Of course she does :) The thing is that she wants only what will make him truly happy, i.e her smiling face. As opposed to some silly toy that he will be bored off in 5 minutes and still want another new one next year…

Posted on Thu, 20 December 2007 at 19:58

#11

mrs h wrote:

of. Not off.

Posted on Thu, 20 December 2007 at 19:59

#12

Punkwak (Tijn) wrote:

Give her some time with pink.. :D

cheers

Posted on Thu, 20 December 2007 at 22:16

#13

mrs h wrote:

:p

Posted on Fri, 21 December 2007 at 18:22

#14

mr self destruct wrote:

A double coffin? That’s quite romantic and made of wood.

Posted on Fri, 21 December 2007 at 20:16

#15

mr self destruct wrote:

And it shows you meant it when you pledged TO BE TOGETHER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES…EVEN AFTER DECADES WHEN YOU ARE SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO SAY TO EACH OTHER

;)

Posted on Fri, 21 December 2007 at 20:22

#16

mrs h wrote:

Don’t be such a twat, Sammy! Everyone knows you are a sloppy old romantic little twinkly fluffy thing, there’s no point feigning cynicism any more :p

Posted on Fri, 21 December 2007 at 20:27

#17

mr self destruct wrote:

I object to all but one of those adjectives you cheeky fucker! :p

Posted on Fri, 21 December 2007 at 21:00

#18

Misanthropologist (d) wrote:

Fluffy?

Posted on Fri, 21 December 2007 at 23:56

#19

mr self destruct wrote:

Exactly - I pride myself on my reptilian-like scales.

Posted on Sat, 22 December 2007 at 11:34

#20

mrs h wrote:

For the last time - a chinchilla is NOT a reptile, and ‘scales’ does not mean ‘especially fluffy winter coat’ :)

Posted on Sat, 22 December 2007 at 11:58

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