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FAO mrs h

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Started by Cuchulain

Why this made me think of you straight away , I dont know…

School 1960 vs. School 2007
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1960 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates.

2007 - Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. Mobiles with video of fight confiscated as evidence. They are charged with assault, ASBOs are taken out and both are suspended even though Johnny started it. Diversionary conferences and parent meetings conducted. Video shown on 6 internet sites.

Scenario: Jeffrey won’t sit still in class, disrupts other students.

1960 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal’s office and given 6 of the best. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counselled to death. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra funding because Jeffrey has a disability. Drops out of school.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour’s car and his Dad gives him the slipper.

1960 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. Psychologist tells Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mum has an affair with the psychologist. Psychologist gets a promotion.

Scenario: Mark, a college student, brings cigarettes to school .

1960 - Mark shares a smoke with the school principal out on the smoking area.

2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug possession. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Mohammed fails high school English.

1960 - Mohammed retakes his exam, passes and goes to college.

2007 - Mohammed’s cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against state school system and his English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Mohammed is given his qualification anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers, puts them in a model plane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.

1960 - Ants die.

2007 - MI5 and police are called and Johnny is charged with perpertrating acts of terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny’s dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls during break and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.

1960 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy. Becomes gay.

Posted on Thu, 24 January 2008 at 16:51

You’re viewing replies 1–26 of 26 by 6 people

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#1

mrs h wrote:

:D That’s ace! I’m going to email it to all my peers :D

Makes you think though. When I was at school they were allowed to cane boys but not girls - what was that about?? Although a teacher did once hit me on the head with a ruler, which really pissed me off :(

“Why this made me think of you straight away , I dont know…” :p

Posted on Thu, 24 January 2008 at 19:56

#2

Taunty Dan wrote:

1960 - johnny playfully slaps mrs h
2007 - johnny amazes doctors by waking from his coma

Posted on Thu, 24 January 2008 at 20:36

#3

mrs h wrote:

LMAO :D

Bless.

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 18:14

#4

Taunty Dan wrote:

:)

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 19:04

#5

Dennis wrote:

1960: People insulted old people in person and got a clip round the ear by said old person and several lashes of Dad’s belt when they got home.
2008: People insult old people over a web forum. People laugh. Hoorah!

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 20:40

#6

mrs h wrote:

One day, Dennis. One day…

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 20:52

#7

mr self destruct wrote:

1960: A twenty year old mrs h lights up a fag
2008: A 68 year old mrs h lights up a fag

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 20:55

#8

Dennis wrote:

One day Dennis, the next ..the whole world! Mwah ha ha ha ha

Oh wait i thought it was some kind of World Dominance speech

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 20:55

#9

Dennis wrote:

mr self destruct wrote:

1960: A twenty year old mrs h lights up a fag
2008: A 68 year old mrs h lights up a fag

Cruisin for a bruisin…but you gotta admire the guy’s maths

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 20:56 in reply to an earlier post

#10

mrs h wrote:

LOL :D

Sammy you are a cheeky fucker, and 68 or not I could still kill you with my bare hands. Mind you, so could Fingermouse :p

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 21:00

#11

mr self destruct wrote:

Ha ha, bring it on!

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 21:03

#12

mrs h wrote:

If you ever dare come home I most certainly will! :p

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 21:06

#13

mr self destruct wrote:

What’s your wrestler name? :D

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 21:09

#14

Dennis wrote:

mrs h wrote:

Mind you, so could Fingermouse :p

“Yoffi lifts a fingerrrr and a…finger with some crap cardboard stuck onto it takes the air…”

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 21:12 in reply to an earlier post

Last edited by Teethgrinder on Mon, 28 January 2008 at 07:52 (Corrected use of quotes)

#15

mrs h wrote:

I don’t have a wrestler name, I am a martial artiste …

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 21:15

#16

Dennis wrote:

“The Ginger Ninja”

*has never met Mrs H. Hopes she is a red-head or my last joke is fucked*

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 21:16

#17

mrs h wrote:

I have a blue rinse, but I’ll let you off …

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 21:20

#18

mr self destruct wrote:

The TaekwonOAP

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 21:23

#19

mr self destruct wrote:

Bollocks. The TaekwondOAP

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 21:23

#20

Dennis wrote:

Altogether now…”only wanna see you laughin…in that purple rinse. Puuuurple riiiinse, puuuurrrrrple riiiiiinse…purple rinse, puuuuuurple rinse…”

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 21:24

#21

mrs h wrote:

mr self destruct wrote:

Bollocks. The TaekwondOAP

as opposed to the Taekwondope :p

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 21:26 in reply to an earlier post

#22

mr self destruct wrote:

Ha ha

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 21:27

#23

Misanthropologist (d) wrote:

mrs h wrote:

I don’t have a wrestler name, I am a martial artiste …

*mumbles* More like a piss artiste.

Posted on Fri, 25 January 2008 at 21:53 in reply to an earlier post

#24

Taunty Dan wrote:

*chuckles with d. makes sure the armed units are ready to step in.*

Posted on Sat, 26 January 2008 at 10:14

#25

deadsetgav wrote:

She goes to the W.I. for Karatea and scones

Posted on Sat, 26 January 2008 at 12:34

#26

mrs h wrote:

lol

Actually I go to the take-away. I am an extra large black belt at Kung Foo Jung as it happens … :p

Posted on Sat, 26 January 2008 at 13:28

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