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Films that should have been great, but…

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Started by deadsetgav

…but just ended up being shit.

Ok - We’ve all seen them, this thread is dedicated to the films that had all the right ingredients to be great, but left you feeling totally fucking cheated

Only rule is - if you are gonna put plot details in - post a spoiler warning!

Bear with me on this…

Imagine you have a friend that you haven’t seen for ages. You go way back, but circumstances just mean you’ve kinda grown apart and just don’t see each other any more. Then out of the blue you get an invite to go to a party at their place. You have fond memories of your times together and think that it would be fun to catch up with each other again, talk about old times and find out what each other are upto these days.
You turn up, have a few beers - the vibe is good, some decent tunes are playing, pretty good night so far… jokes are cracked, shared experiences are reminiced upon.
Then, out of the blue, your jovial host comes swaggering over, unzips his flies, pulls out his stinking shriveled knob and pisses warm stinking urine right in your face…

That is the exact feeling I got by watching Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull.

I now want to punch George Lucas in his tiny little beard.

Posted on Fri, 3 October 2008 at 21:58

You’re viewing replies 1–30 of 166 by 24 people

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#1

Charlie wrote:

Not good ?

How about Jaws 2 - utter yawn fest.

Its still better than Jaws 3 though - absolute garbage :D

Posted on Fri, 3 October 2008 at 22:36

#2

deadsetgav wrote:

Jaws 4 took the fucking biscuit where a distant relative of the shark from Jaws 1 tracks the Brodie family down to the Carribean to terrorize them!

**Spoiler Alert**
Its fucking shit

Posted on Fri, 3 October 2008 at 22:44

#3

Dusty (Chris Davies) wrote:

Not Michael Caine’s finest hour. :)

*Spoiler*

A few weeks ago I watched the Lost Boys 2 - The Tribe , to be honest it wasn’t as bad as I had thought it was going to be but the last 15 minutes or so were fucking shit , except a small part right at the end. Apparently theres going to be a third film coming out if the two coreys resolve their differences.

I still haven’t seen the fourth indiana jones or die hard. Seen Rambo 4 that isn’t as good as people were making out. I did like Rocky 6 though.

Posted on Fri, 3 October 2008 at 22:58

#4

Graeme55? (Graeme Williams) wrote:

i loved the latest indiana jones film

Posted on Fri, 3 October 2008 at 23:45

#5

FNYANKEZ wrote:

Star Wars episodes 1-3. The first one just screwed it all up. They did a great job in Ep3 with how Anakin finally became Vader, but then ruined it with the Principle Seymore Skinner “NNNNNnoooooo!” when he heard his wife was dead. I couldn’t help but laugh. Ruined all the dramatic effect.

Bourne Ultimatum fell flat. Can’t put my finger on one thing…it just didn’t do it for me.

Constantine wasn’t too bad..nowhere near as good as the Hellblazer comics it was taken from, but okay…but again they ruined it when he popped the stick of gum in his mouth at the end. He was supposed to light up a cigarette. (anyone who’se seen it and read the comics knows what I’m talking about)

Staying on the Keanu Reeve’s theme…Matrix 2 &3 were a letdown..great effects, bad story.

Twin Peaks- Fire Walk with Me, was nowhere near as good as the show. The first X-Files movie..the same (haven’t seen the new one yet)

Posted on Sat, 4 October 2008 at 04:13

#6

deadsetgav wrote:

I thought Lost Boys 2 was terrible - save for the fact Cory Feldman is a fucking star!

I’m totally with FNYANKEZ on the Matrix sequels - I loved the first - then about 30 mins into the second one you can start to smell the piss… what were they thinking?

Posted on Sat, 4 October 2008 at 06:53

#7

Taunty Dan wrote:

Fims?

Posted on Sat, 4 October 2008 at 09:18

#8

Dennis wrote:

Have to agree about Star Wars Episode 1. Utter rubbish.

Posted on Sat, 4 October 2008 at 09:28

#9

deadsetgav wrote:

Taunty Dan wrote:

Fims?

Fucksocks - I’ve only just spotted that!

Posted on Sat, 4 October 2008 at 09:31 in reply to an earlier post

#10

mr self destruct wrote:

Are you still mates with that old friend, Gav?

Posted on Sat, 4 October 2008 at 10:04

#11

Taunty Dan wrote:

:D

Star Wars…well, given that the title of the thread is “films that SHOULD have been great” i don’t think you can include the new star wars films. I mean, who genuinely thought “yay! oh this is gonna be fantastic!” For me it was more “ooh…i’m not sure about this…”. And my concerns turned out to be true. :D

Posted on Sat, 4 October 2008 at 10:07

#12

deadsetgav wrote:

No - I vowed to never again experience the golden shower of disappointment…

Posted on Sat, 4 October 2008 at 11:49

#13

Charlie wrote:

RE : Jaws 4 - I actually thought Jaws 3 was worse.

Posted on Sat, 4 October 2008 at 12:01

#14

deadsetgav wrote:

I think the turd icing on the bile-cake of Jaws 4 was the bit where they killed the shark as it jumped out of the water and they sailed the boat into its side, spearing it on the bow…

Posted on Sat, 4 October 2008 at 12:08

#15

deadsetgav wrote:

Posted on Sat, 4 October 2008 at 12:11

#16

mrs h wrote:

@Gav - it won’t let me quote you, but I have to jump in and defend the Crystal Skull. On the one hand, yes it was an absolute pile of crap, but to be fair to it, the whole film was a pisstake and you weren’t at any point to think it was anything else. I’ll never watch it again, but I did laugh all the way through it and so did the rest of the audience :)

I loved the Matrix, gave the Matrix 2 my best shot (but didn’t enjoy it at all) and I’ve never bothered watching the third one.

Don’t get me started on Star Wars - I watched the first one about 5 times at the cinema because we didn’t have anywhere else to watch it and I loved it so much! It was downhill from there really. Anyone who says the Return of the Jedi was a good film must be basing it on nostalgia because it was pants. But all that Phantom Menace ‘episode 1’ bollocks is bordering on heretical.

Those are my thoughts anyway…

Posted on Sat, 4 October 2008 at 12:54

#17

fatboy wrote:

Star Wars prequals - don’t get me started, please.

Posted on Sat, 4 October 2008 at 14:15

#18

deadsetgav wrote:

I’m so pissed off at the Crystal Skull, because I thought it was gonna be a bit shit… but I went along with it and actually started to enjoy it. Harrison Ford pulled it off quite well for an old duffer and the kid out of Transformers was playing a pretty good part. The action was pretty decent and (aside from some frankly shite CGI) I was actually enjoying watching it… and then… wham - downhill fast for the last quarter to one of the worst endings for a film I have seen.

Posted on Sat, 4 October 2008 at 15:42

#19

mrs h wrote:

I have to agree with that, I suppose - it went from funny to ridiculous quite dramatically, but at least it was a bit shit to start with. The worst ending to a film I think i have ever seen was ‘The Color Purple’. The film was absolutely brilliant, and the end was … well I’m not about to tell the end even though it’s so old, but I was gobsmacked. What a cheesefest.

Posted on Sat, 4 October 2008 at 18:00

#20

Gimme Back My Brainsaw (Mike Hunt) wrote:

Interview with a vampire. based on an amazing book, but came out shit in my opinion.

Posted on Sat, 4 October 2008 at 18:03

#21

Charlie wrote:

RE : matrix 2 - yes it was bad - save for the freway chase - but 3 was much better IMO.

Posted on Sat, 4 October 2008 at 18:48

#22

deadsetgav wrote:

I kinda (foolishly) hoped Matrix 2 was a bit shit but was setting the third one up for great things. I was wrong. nearly walked out of the cinema - I was so fucking bored!

Posted on Sat, 4 October 2008 at 19:27

#23

Erik Schepers (Erik Schepers) wrote:

The first Matrix movie was good. The 2nd decent. The 3rd pretty much showed they had no idea how to tie up the story. Was it pants? Was it ever.

As for Indiana Jones, Star Wars etc. I think the backlash for the most part was due to the unreasonably high expectations. Most people saw the original films when they were younger, and have fond memories of them (I saw Indy 2 when I was a mere 11 years old), and they go in either expecting too much, or expecting to be disappointed, ie, a self-fullfilling prophecy.

Having said that, the “actors” that played Anakin were annoying (the youngest) or simply crap (the younger). However, I did like the 2nd half of Ep 2, and most of Ep 3, as the early signs of the empire popped up (stormtroopers, star destroyers etc.).

Die Hard 4 I did like, as it was good old fashioned over the top action, and Rambo 4 was rubbish.

Posted on Sun, 5 October 2008 at 16:35

#24

Charlie wrote:

I loved Die Hard 4 also :)

Posted on Sun, 5 October 2008 at 18:42

#25

Taunty Dan wrote:

Haven’t got round to it yet, but really should for the Kevin Smith factor.

Posted on Sun, 5 October 2008 at 19:30

#26

Charlie wrote:

Ugh Kevin Smith - i hate everything he’s done.

Except maybe Dogma - the one good film IMO

Posted on Sun, 5 October 2008 at 19:35

#27

FNYANKEZ wrote:

I really liked Die Hard 4.. except for the bit with the plane.
Just as dumb as the bit with the Harrier in “True Lies” in both cases I think it held back the move from being even better.
Hollywood definitely needs to learn that just because you can do something with effects, it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.

I also couldn’t help but laugh at the Mac commercial guy (I hate those fuckin Apple commercials!!) and his PCs.

The Star Wars prequels were just crap.
Horrible storytelling.
Part 1 was so bad, that it pulled down the other two because they had to cram so much into the rest to get it where it was supposed to go. They should have started with episode 2, fattened it out with another episode, then ended with Return of the Sith. It should have been a dramatic buildup to Anakin turning to the dark side. Instead they were in such a rush it was like “Okay we’ve only got an hour left…now you’re bad!” They needed a real scriptwriter…bad! Lucas should have gotten Lawrence Kasdan to write it. Look at the job he did on “Empire”…the best one by far.

Can’t speak to the Indy movie. Just the preview made me not want to see it (too much CGI). I’ll catch it on cable eventually.

Posted on Sun, 5 October 2008 at 19:38

#28

Gimme Back My Brainsaw (Mike Hunt) wrote:

I wouldnt expect anyone who worships any shit that comes out of lars ulrichs ass to have any respect for the view askewniverse

Posted on Sun, 5 October 2008 at 19:38

#29

Charlie wrote:

Jay and Silent Bob strikes back was appaling.

Posted on Sun, 5 October 2008 at 19:42

#30

Graeme55? (Graeme Williams) wrote:

nooo i thought it was well funny :)

Posted on Sun, 5 October 2008 at 19:48

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