#61
Pat wrote:
There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory.
Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer.
They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought, “This should impress him!”
He showed his son a machine and said “Son, this is the heart of the factory. With this machine here we can put in a pig, and out come sausages.
The prudish son, unimpressed, said “Yes, but do you have a machine where you can put in a sausage and out comes a pig?”
The father, furious, thought and said, “Yes son, we call it your mother.”
Posted on Fri, 21 January 2005 at 17:52
#62
lazloman2002 wrote:
did you hear about the exciting new irish rapper whose just come out?His name is fifty pence!!!!!
Posted on Fri, 21 January 2005 at 20:27
#63
Kyle Bovine (K B) wrote:
actually there was a song released by a certain Mike Skinner under the alias Fifty Pence, it was called In Da Pub
Posted on Mon, 24 January 2005 at 11:15
#64
Kyle Bovine (K B) wrote:
Why’d the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why’d the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was tied to the first monkey.
Why’d the third monkey fall out of the tree?
He thought it was a game.
Why’d the tree fall down?
It thought it was a monkey.
Why’d the giraafe fall down?
He tripped over the tree.
Posted on Mon, 24 January 2005 at 13:33
#65
tgE wrote:
some of the most terrible jokes i’ve ever heard. especially liked the one about the 8 year old and the twenty five year olds
Posted on Fri, 28 January 2005 at 14:33
#66
Kyle Bovine (K B) wrote:
theyre all good in a bad way! (or all bad in a good way):D
Posted on Fri, 28 January 2005 at 21:22
#67
motherh666 wrote:
what did the grape do when it was stepped on?
it let out a little wine…
Posted on Sat, 29 January 2005 at 11:32
#68
Teethgrinder (René Fennema) Administrator wrote:
What do you call a blind dinosaur?
An Idontthinkhesaurus.
—
Tables are not very easy to understand. Unless you’re a short person.
—
When Noah built his ark, he had two snakes aboard. When the animals were leaving, he said, “Go forth and multiply.”
The snakes didn’t move.
“Go forth and multiply!”
They still didn’t move.
Noah was yelling by now.
“Go forth and multiply!”
“We can’t”, they answered.
Noah was confused. “Why not?”
“We’re adders.”
Posted on Sat, 29 January 2005 at 19:29
#69
Citizen Erased wrote:
Teethgrinder wrote:
What do you call a blind dinosaur?
An Idontthinkhesaurus.
What do you call his dog?
An Idontthinkhesaurus Rex
Posted on Sun, 30 January 2005 at 08:33
#70
OK! wrote:
Those jokes are from the movie ‘jurassic park’, no?
Posted on Sun, 30 January 2005 at 11:19
#71
Kyle Bovine (K B) wrote:
i like the adder one Teethgrinder:D
Posted on Sun, 30 January 2005 at 17:21
#72
Mekhet wrote:
What´s green and explodes?
A frog in a microwave.
This one´s really bad…Be warned.
The other day I saw my friend giving petrol to his cat to drink. The cat starting to race round the room at high speed, then all of a suden it stoped. I rushed over thinking it was dead, but it had just run out of gas…
Posted on Fri, 4 February 2005 at 20:10
#73
Citizen Erased wrote:
Posted on Fri, 4 February 2005 at 20:12
#74
stavroula77 wrote:
A guy walks into a bar, walks up to this attractive girl and says to her:”What would you say to a little fuck?”
and she says: “Hello little fuck!”
Posted on Tue, 8 February 2005 at 06:42
#75
Billy Blue wrote:
Whats big and grey, and can’t climb up trees?
A car park.
Posted on Tue, 8 February 2005 at 15:25
#76
stavroula77 wrote:
What’s the most useless creature in the world?
The mermaid, you can neither fuck her nor fry her!
Posted on Wed, 9 February 2005 at 06:52
#77
Mekhet wrote:
Citizen Erased wrote:
Explode in a microwave or run out of gas?
Posted on Wed, 9 February 2005 at 11:22
#78
ctrlaltdelete (chris) wrote:
police are saying that maybe it was a good thing that M.Jackson only danggled the baby over the hotel railings…A police spokesman was reported saying that he usually tossed kids off..
Posted on Wed, 9 February 2005 at 16:05
#79
ctrlaltdelete (chris) wrote:
Title: sorry if ur a redhead
A woman goes into labour and after 36 hours of pushing the baby pops out…but then the doctors rush it away.After a while the woman gets upset and wants to know were her baby is so she asks the doctor and he replies…
“mrs smith we have some good news and some bad news…firstly the bad news…your baby was born with ginger hair…”
the woman sits back down in tears…
“The good news is .. we killed it”
(remember this the bad jokes thread)
Posted on Wed, 9 February 2005 at 16:10
#80
Andy D (Andy) wrote:
This joke is about a woman that’s been in a coma for years but when the nurse gives her a spongebath and touches her genitals in a rather intimate way by accident, the lifeline on the moniter makes a spectacular jump but it went as soon as it came but everytime the nurse rubbed her there, the woman responded through her heartbeat on the monitor.
The next time her husband came to visit her, the nurse said to him that some oral sex could do miracles and that she even might wake up from her coma. The husband agreed but wanted some privacy so the nurse shut the curtains.
A while later the woman flatlined and the nurse went to see what was the problem and she saw the man standing there with his pants down saying: I think she choked.
Posted on Wed, 9 February 2005 at 17:36
#81
--neville-- wrote:
Why are tractors magical?
They drive down roads and turn into fields.
BOOM BOOM!!
Posted on Mon, 14 February 2005 at 03:52
#82
Divers (Simon) wrote:
thats not a bad one, i will remember that.
Posted on Mon, 14 February 2005 at 05:23
#83
realityfuck (Richard Splash) wrote:
Why does Michael Jackson keep cheese at the end of his bed?
Kids’ll do anything for Dairylea!! (Apologies if you’ve never seen any Dairylea ads)
Posted on Mon, 14 February 2005 at 05:50
#84
Kyle Bovine (K B) wrote:
Why did Michael Jackson ring up Boyz 2 Men?
He thought they did deliveries.
Posted on Mon, 14 February 2005 at 12:19
#85
Divers (Simon) wrote:
Fiestaboy wrote:
This joke is about a woman that’s been in a coma for years but when the nurse gives her a spongebath and touches her genitals in a rather intimate way by accident, the lifeline on the moniter makes a spectacular jump but it went as soon as it came but everytime the nurse rubbed her there, the woman responded through her heartbeat on the monitor.
The next time her husband came to visit her, the nurse said to him that some oral sex could do miracles and that she even might wake up from her coma. The husband agreed but wanted some privacy so the nurse shut the curtains.
A while later the woman flatlined and the nurse went to see what was the problem and she saw the man standing there with his pants down saying: I think she choked.
This has now become my new fav joke!
Posted on Mon, 14 February 2005 at 22:26
#86
Teethgrinder (René Fennema) Administrator wrote:
It has been reported that Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter is writing a book about her relationship with her father. It’s called ‘Why I never got close to Dick.’
Posted on Tue, 15 February 2005 at 09:07
#87
Ronald wrote:
What is the only animal on this planet with a dick on his back?
Answ: A Police horse
Posted on Tue, 15 February 2005 at 11:31
#88
Kyle Bovine (K B) wrote:
Two chickens walk up to a zebra crossing, one says to the other
“Best not, We’ll never hear the end of it”
Posted on Wed, 16 February 2005 at 16:41
#89
Divers (Simon) wrote:
Whats Michael Jackson and whiskey got in common?
They both come in Tots!
Posted on Thu, 17 February 2005 at 21:46
#90
Divers (Simon) wrote:
Two pregnant irish women sat in there front room chatting away and knitting, one turns to the other and says “i hope my child is a little boy as i have knitted this little blue jumper” and the other one holding up her jumper says “I hope mine is a spastic as I’ve fucked the arm up”
I’m so sorry :rolleyes:
Posted on Thu, 17 February 2005 at 21:51
