Wall of Mouths

:rolleyes:

*bursts forth from the ashes*

*phoenix-like. Nothing to do with cricket*

*The sport, not Pinocchio’s friend in the Disney film*

*By film I obviously mean feature-length animation*

That’s a very good point. But I’m back now :)

*clips gimme round the ear and locks him in the naughty cupboard*

*hopes d isn’t still in there*

Cheeky little git :rolleyes:

Hello Pip :) Unfortunately I have to go now, but it is a joy to see your smiley face *hugs*

@Ci? and check out page 846 as well - I bet you any money you have forgotten it! :D

For lazy people:

845

846

I’ve realised that Gav practically disappearing off the WoM occurred at almost exactly the same time as we all stopped believing in him. This is very sad, but also hardly fair on Jess who will have to actually witness him fading away.

For this reason I am going to occasionally post links to various random pages in the GM bible and hope that you can all find faith in your hearts and pray to Gav to sort out all this horrible mess :)

Todays random page number is 844. Sammikins’ last birthday and Divers has a hangover … (we’ll get to the religious stuff later when we’ve examined social disasters :)) Not much happens but you should check out Divers’ icing, which is pretty spectacular :) And then read page 855 (especially you, Ci? ;))

844

aaaagh!!!!! a ghost!

*looks at badly polished size 10 patent leather slingbacks sticking out*

Bloody hell d, you can be so childish sometimes! :rolleyes:

WHAT????!!!!! :mad:

Well i’m back now…

*puts feet up*

Is someone going to get the kettle on or what? And I’d like one of those delicious sandwiches that Divers makes :)

Bugger - I’ve left the back in the photocopier!! :rolleyes:

*waves some more cash about*

*kisses cash*

*lets d have a look*

Dead singers, eh? Can’t get enough of ‘em. Would you like to see my Janis Joplin?

How dare you!! :mad:

*waves lots of CMM cash about to prove a point*

*wonders which point might be proved in such a way*

:D

:Cuchulain - sorry, I lost it, here you go. Try to drink it all at once :)

That gunk Hanne, Ci? and I invented to cure a hangover

@Squall - *looks in handbook* ‘Gracious Me is not a thread, it is a way of life and a home from home and thus it was, and is and shall always be, until some day our lady saviour shall return and be as a queen amongst mortals (a regal queen, not one like Dan or Dennis) and assure us of a life eternal in the City of WoM for as long as we worship the great Gav. Amen’

*quickly baptises Squall and Gimme before they have a chance to get a look at the rest of the handbook*

Title: Memo

Mr Bomb, I would like to see you in my office first thing, regarding your future with Gracious Me.In the meantime I would like you to give particular thought as to why you did not promote the ‘Gracious Me’ hangover cure when you had a clear obligation to do so under clause 779324556 of your employment contract.

If you wish to keep your 6 figure salary, I expect you to put this company first AT ALL TIMES :mad:

Do I make myself understood?

@ Cuchulain - Gracious Me cannot accept any responsibility should you go blind as a result of taking Mr Bomb’s advice. Please accept a jar of our proprietary brand hangover cure as a gesture of goodwill :)

Bloody Lobsters indeed - I have the patience of a saint, really I do!!!

Do you remember this? :)

Apparently caffeinebomb will be back soon btw - he says he’s had to work 65 hours this week, and I think 3 of them were at Starbucks …

That’s my Veet sponge, I’ve just finished doing my legs…

I doubt it. I don’t think anyone ever misses much round these parts …

I can’t stop thinking about the donkey hotel on the ‘I hate my job’ thread. I know AGSG didn’t seem too bothered, but I think it’s a bloody marvellous idea!

*buys 200 donkeys on ebay and puts them in Hanne’s room*

*hopes donkeys eat sand*

Ahh - my baby girl is here wanting to use the PC so I have to leave … you can finish the cake :)

*waves*

Me too, it’s a waste of time baking it really. Much more fun with a spoon:)

Usually.

*remembers the horrible incident with the fish cake*

Ci? wrote:

the joys of solitary confinement!

Yay!! A visitor! :D

*drags Ci? in the house and force feeds her raw cake and cold tea*

How are you? My how you’ve grown!

Hooch’s mum wrote:

Please come to my real funeral … I think you wetting yourself in the aisles will add a touch of class and a hint of decorum to the occasion :D

lmao!! :D Poor Oates :( * cries*

I think the last 2 lines were supposed to be at the beginning! :D Thanks Colin? :)

Cheers Gav, I’m thinking of breaking the rules just for today and see if Rene notices! :)

Yeah. * shuffles by, acknowledging Mr Bomb with a shrug *

No time – I’ve eaten it :(

From the Happy Birthday thread, thanks Dan, Tinne, D, Punkwak and Hanne, and thanks to Sammikins for the Happy Birthday email :D

*remembers the good old days*

*bakes some cakes and makes a pot of tea*

*sits around remembering how boring it can be when you’re trapped in one thread and nobody comes to see you*

:(

Oh alright then, have it your way! :)

Taunty Dan wrote:

Huzzah! the marginally less evil one! :p

*struggles to work out why he prefers Hooch’s mum to mrs h even though there is no difference*

:D Hello flower :)

Hello folks, What’s going on? :)

:D

No. Jack Robinson was the name of my counsellor :(

If you must know I have been in an asylum. I booked a session with a counsellor to help me cope with you lot, and before I could say Jack Robinson I was strapped up and whisked away in an ambulance. They thought I was delusional :mad:

I have written about 500 letters asking someone to come and get me out, and not one of you could be bothered to reply.

*goes to make cup of tea*

*opens cutlery drawer*

*finds 500 letters addressed to the GMers*

:rolleyes:

And as for Dan, what do you expect if you let him wear a wetsuit? …

marja wrote:

you mean the gay parade? Were you on one of the boats?

lol :D

Sorry, that always makes me laugh :)

Now, where was I?

Oh yes, that’s it…

What in the name of all that is good and holy is going on in here!!!!? Everyone is just sauntering in and out and the whole place is going to pot! I will NOT stand for it!! What do you think it is? A B&B? I am sick of coming back here and finding dead people and shoes and rubbish all over the place, nobody even bothers locking up any more!!! Well I will be doing an inspection of the whole place in the very near future and I had better not find anything untoward! :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

*wanders in carrying ornate urn*

*trips over huge pile of exhausted and dehydrated orphans*

*curses Hanne*

*makes all the orphans some breakfast*

Right, I’m off away for the weekend … Before I go, has anyone seen Oates’ ashes? I left them in the cupboard in a Nesquik jar …

WHAT?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*clips caffeinebomb round the ear*

Right - you can start on page 1 and read the whole of Gracious Me, annotating the bits you consider to be ‘second rate’. And when you’ve finished you can do it all again! :mad:

*stomps off, locking the door*

hoochalobster wrote:

*takes a moment to point and laugh at the mothership* Bahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

You changed your mind about the free sofa then? :p