Wall of Mouths

Christ, you guys think you have problems?

You have no idea.

The missus has just rang to tell me I need to be in Nottingham by 6.15, dressed up like a pirate for clubnight launch thing. And I can’t find my eyepatch and my sword is in Brum! And my throat hurts when I say “Yaaarr”

:(

Hmmm.

Is it on the key pegs behind the kitchen door?

I’m sick of coming back to GM and there being no chocolate left :(

*starts sadly packing up stuff*

Anyone want 30 odd orphans? Some may be deceased. Who was meant to feed them?

*scribbles furiously on clipboard* solid gold…

Right, here’s my psychologists’ report, detailing your years of emotional and sexual confusion, and the obvious impact it’s had…

I would push for at least 1.4m from the school. And while you’re at it just take this to your local pharmacy, ok? It’s nothing much but will just help with a few of your problems.

Oh, lord, look what happens when I’m away…

*locks D back in his gimp cupboard*

*sits Den down in big armchair* Now, be as open and honest as you can… You hate your father and want to sleep with your mother, don’t you?

They left the end crusty bits though

But who doesn’t?

Jagermeister and quadruple JDs are bad

And are the reason I will not be making more toast today kids

*crawls into bed*

*gathers all toast and jam together and sits in cupboard in room and sulks. And eats toast and jam*

I’m here! Now, I went a bit on autopilot and just made more toast. 5000 more slices to be precise. But eat the ones from a month or two ago before starting on this batch.

Jam, anyone?

Oh, so nothing new there?

Anything else I’ve missed in the last week or so other than CB being a dirty old bastard?

…

No?

Simon, Dublin was great thanks :) once I’ve got my arse in gear I’ll post some pictures, because holidays aren’t complete without boring people with holiday pics. But it was very expensive (the going city centre price for a jamesons coke was 6.50 euro), and the people are strange, but it was lovely.

Glad you like the tshirt and comps as well. What a successful week :) How are you you big twat anyway? I haven’t spoken to you in ages :(

Morning!

What’s going on?

I’m confused.

I’ve just got in from last night.

I don’t feel very well :(

There was jagermeister involved.

“sonny Jim”?!?!

Libel!

I never get birthday cakes… it’s always birthday pies or birthday giantcookiesofdoom :)

*emerges from bottom of pile of washing and cash*

I think I would like an explanation about all this as well :(

Ooooh, Dan’s home Dan’s home :D

It’s because you missed me too much isn’t it?

No! Pfft.. men.

Not even the fact that you all don’t know that cob is the way forward isn’t bringing me down :)

Aren’t things just grand :)

Lovely, lovely, lovely weekend and lovely, lovely, lovely monday morning :)

You wouldn’t be able to share a pint with Divers.

His pintkitten would scratch you :)

This is the last news piece on BBC Sport about him, from yesterday. I suspect if he had died they may have thrown that nugget of info in as well :)

mr self destruct wrote:

If I lived there I’d be straight down to rearrange/replace the letters on their sign…fucking Americanisms :mad:

It’s no coincidence I could not spell ‘centre’ for years and years :mad:

Woo! I live down the road from Sherwood Forest Centre Parcs :)

We used to go on holiday there loads because my dad never wanted to take time off to go on holiday with us, so went to work all day and then drove back for the nights :(

I will give special prizes for everyone who votes ‘cob’

We all know that’s the correct term anyway :)

Well, where he did take his holidays.

Before the incident :(

Dermot wrote:

I used to be very interested in the paranormal - but I don’t think ghosts exist anymore. Nowadays I’m more into cryptozoology - the study / hunt for animals that haven’t been proven to exist yet. They go from the famous / ridiculous (like Nessie or Bigfoot) to the more mundane and believeable - I spent hours looking it up in work the other day:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cryptozoology

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Cryptids

AHA! I have discovered the Canvey Island Monster. Is it just me or is the artistic interpretation a little bit… dirty?

Right, a rant.

Bastard twat of a bartender at Wetherspoons saw me being served by the managers all afternoon, then decided to ID me, fair does, then forget everything I said before scrutinising my DL.
Twat: What was it again?
Me: Half a Hoegaarden and a JD and coke.
*twat tries Hoe*
Twat: None left
Me: Ok, can I have a double soco and lemonade and a single jd and coke then?
Twat: Ok, ice?
Me: yus.
Twat: No ice.
Me: Fair does
Twat: What spirit again?
Me: double soco and lemonade and a single jd and coke
Twat: *pours one soco* double or single?
Me: double soco and lemonade and a single jd and coke
Twat: Coke with the soco?
Me: double soco and lemonade and a single jd and coke
Twat: And a…?
Me: single jd and coke
Twat: Ice?
Me: You have no ice.
Twat: Oh. Single or double?
Me: single jd and coke
Twat: What mixer?
Me: single jd and coke
Twat: Ok. *Stares at till for about 2 minutes.* Can’t find button *wanders off for 2 minutes, comes back with lady*
Lady: It’s the one that says “Southern comfort on it
Twat: ok. Umm… that’s… umm.. £4.59. I think.

Really. How hard??!?!!? And he tried to serve the bloke who had was walking up to the bar before me, when I had been standing there 10 minutes in a very obvious way. GAH.

I can’t wait for you to turn up after however long it will take you to get here just for me to say “sorry mate, none left” and shut the door on your face :D

Pure loveliness, me :)

*sigh* g’wan then. I’ll paypal you the money, you have about 53mins to get the Nottm city centre to get the last bus to my house.

Logistically this isn’t going to work…

The galaxy wouldn’t still be here if you were coming from the next room :)

I have some galaxy choc and a big cake.

You are more than welcome to pop round, but bear in mind I’m listening to Peter, Bjorn and John, who are about as twee and cutesy as they sound :)

Can we have a nice thread of kittens and other lovelynice stuff?

I’ve had such a nice day :D It was so lovely. And it was warm and I sat in a lovely park with some very lovely company!

Lalalalala!

And I have lovely hair stuff which smells of cinnamon and makes my hair even redderer!

And a really good band just released their debut album as a free download and it’s very lovely and have violins and they’re from the lovely Nottingham!

And there are many, many gigs coming up which will all be lovely!

Lalalalalala!

Have I called you a twat?! I’m very sorry, I’m sure it was a good natured ‘twat’ though :)

I’m quite selective over who I decide to abuse. I’m sure Sarah, Simon or Andy would tell you I’m quite nice really. Yeah? Hmm. Maybe. Or not…