Wall of Mouths

Welcome Diana! Can i suggest that you don’t listen to anyone except me? i do talk a lot of rubbish, but i try to stick to coherent sentences wherever possible :)

@ Chr1s and dennis - You’ve scared her half to death! Now you have to go in the cupboard with Dan’s dirty washing until you’ve learnt your lesson :mad:

*wonders if they will end up in Narnia with all the odd socks*

Why thankyou :)

*gets up on the table and dances in high heels whilst making gravy and mousse simultaneously*

*fails to spoil coiffure*

Dennis ate all mine. Luckily he then stuck a post-it note on the fridge that said “Buy more cliches”, so not only was I able to forgive him for being only a man and therefore incompetent at anything shopping or food related, but it enabled me to roll my eyes in an amused fashion and pull a tray of steaming hot pre-wrapped cliches straight out of the microwave, just in time for my whole extended family and a muddy labrador to rush into the kitchen and skid across the immaculate tiled floor and all start grabbing at it simultaneously whilst i laugh and say something like “Hold on, you lot - there’s plenty for everyone!” :)

chr1s wrote:

Hey Paulo!!! :)
You don’t have to be mad to come on here, but it helps.

Chr1s I can honestly say that i the cheesiest cliche on the whole of the WoM. You should be ashamed of yourself! :p

*cuts Paolo a big slice of cheese and onion cliche*

Waste not want not, eh?

@Roy - you’ll also find that when your fridge flies the nest it might need quite a lot of support. Preferably in the form of a fork-lift truck, as fridges do not take easily to flight. Also you should plan in advance. There are a lot of decisions to be made, such as where you will keep your cliches …

RoyBatty wrote:

But what the hell do I know, my fridge is currently listening to the soundtrack to Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron…

It’s tough letting go, I know, but you have to let them develop their independence sooner or later. I mean you don’t want to be cashing your pension and still have a fridge-freezer hanging from your apron strings. It plays havoc with your hips.

RoyBatty wrote:

Most American female fridges prefer watching a really insidious crap karoake contest (thank you, England!)

:D

Thank you Roy. I’d reciprocate, but we (and indeed our fridges) find that all the best American TV comes from Canada :)

:D
They probably are, but I was talking about the Americans :p

You see that is EXACTLY the sort of unconscious sexism that threatens the very core of our society! There is much more to being a woman than just being female you know. You should stand in the naughty corner and have a long hard think about your prejudices. Although I won’t ask you to apologise to the fridge. That could be considered patronising, and might also be seen as reinforcing cultural stereotypes.

Although naturally female fridges are better than male ones. Male ones are really sexist and also they spend all day lounging about in string vests drinking beer and talking about football.

@ Roy B - If you had ever given birth to a lobster you wouldn’t need to ask the first question :( The answer to the second one is a categorical “no”. It is a woman’s right to choose. Always. everytime. it doesn’t matter what you are talking about, it is always the woman’s right to choose. Second choice goes to the fridge, though :)

No. The sperm might get in and I’ll end up with lobsters. Although I like the idea of a window. Then I’d be able to tell if the light really stays off when the door is shut.

*gets saw*

*puts some cream on it*

My fridge hasn’t even got a back door :(

No, you have to get the right size in the first place. It works by stopping the sperm from reaching the egg, and if you get the wrong size you catch lobsters.

I’ll get my coat.

And my asshat.

Welcome Paulo :)

LOL :D

Try and behave, Sammy, just for once :)

*pulls Mr Bomb away by his ear and shuts him in a cupboard*

Welcome Becca :)

The joy of self election is that I can have whatever i like :)

*start’s planning WoM tax system*

*Wonders if WoM tax is a feminine hygiene product*

RoyBatty wrote:

Yes, ma’am. Understood mrs h. *sits transfixed by disembodied eyeballs*

Excellent :)

@Dan - i have explained hundreds of times why you can’t be the Grand High Matriarch. You should stop trying to understand it and simply accept it :p

RoyBatty wrote:

… even if I at times have no fecking idea what you are talking about!

You don’t need to understand anything really. Except that I am self elected Grand High Matriarch of the WoM and I don’t care if you are 13 or 34, you do as you’re bloody well told! :p Just stick a pin in your finger an sign here …

Oh yes. Welcome :)

I just get a blank screen - should I be relieved?

Or should you :mad:

That would be brilliant, wouldn’t it? A really posh chav saying “Ouais,tu vois?” :D Next time I find myself with a classful of kids I’m going to teach them that! :)

Sorry evilbeast. It’s just that kids quite often hang around in gang and speak their own language. “innit” is just their way of saying “isn’t it?”, and they say it at the end of nearly every sentence!

Evilbeast wrote:

to learn us how to make difference between “male” or “female” item .
Neverthless,I don’t have memories about how they had succeeded in learning us that …

I see. So it’s similar to what English children have to do when they are learning all the words that don’t fit the normal rules? They just hear it often enough and one day it sticks in their heads :)

Just so you know, you can’t use ‘learn’ in the way that you just did. Students and pupils learn, but teachers teach. It should read “to teach us how …” and “succeeded in teaching us that”. Unless you are on a housing estate, in which case you just say what you like and then add “innit” to the end of every sentence :)

I never did understand all that. I mean to say, how on earth can a table be male or female? And how are you supposed to work it out? It must be really difficult for French kids!

lol :D ” I am at a table over there” ?

I think I’ve either missed the point or you are trying too hard, but that has made me laugh! Anyway, at least I know who to ask now if I get stuck :)

:S Thanks Evilbeast, but I can’t even read that, let alone say it!

Did I? What does assise mean? :S I’m sorry - I was always rubbish at French. Apparently my accent wasn’t bad but all my sentences were meaningless drivel. much like my English :(

I suppose not, I can’t think of any French fans. Do you think they have a message board? I can say “Bonjour, je suis dans le table aujourd hui”.

Perhaps Therapy? should produce their own range of bizarre and delicious cheeses. Do you think that would help? :)

*wonders whether to wake Dennis and stop him eating his slipper or just to let him get on with it*

*leaves him to get on with it*

*sings* on de left hand side parce de dutchie on de left hand side me say me…

Dennis, you’ve stopped biddlying! :mad: