Wall of Mouths

Cheers kid, and I ordered a fucking VANILLA milkshake, not BANANA, how hard can it be?

If you feel like your brain has failed YOU then just take a moment to imagine how your brain feels about the way you turned out yourself.

Get a divorce with it and start a new life. Best thing I ever did.

So what have I missed then?

Hello Dan - sorry for abandoning you in your time of need. I had a lovely trip around the world and met some really interesting people - you should have come along, it would have been fun.

I hear you got married whilst I was away? Congratulations (although I really think you robably should have consulted me first)

Anyway - Happy Birthday. We really ought to catch up soon - it’s been a while.

I second that motion - please GOD someone put me out of my misery!

Run to The Hills - Iron Maiden

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, he walks into mine.

Listen baby - you’ll shut you’re mould-hole if you know what’s good for you. A little bit of sweet talking for a whole lot of “fungus growth is my bitch” time is worth the sacrifce. You don’t like it - you know where the door is.

Now grow some legs and fuck off if you want to leave.

Still here?

Good.

Daddy wants some lovin

mrs h wrote:

Poor Dan. They must want him to do some work.

Personally? I’m glad that the cunt’s gone - he’s a fucking embarrasment to be associated with. Almost as bad as that fungal growth he’s got.

Fungus Growth wrote:

I still live in a mug but the brain will be moving in soon. I’ve been out on the lash with the chap for the past few days, and we both seem to have a mutual loathing of Dan. So we seem suited to each other.

Share a mug with you? I’d rather share a head with Dan thankyou very much.

You spelt leash wrong by the way - it’s the only way I can make him behave in public.

Taunty Dan wrote:

woo hoo just got home! theres all this white shit everywhere outside. And there are abondoned cars everywere, like a scrapyard. Like Leeds… ! :D

*ducks*

Jesus Fucking Christ, here we go again, let’s pick on the self-confessed PMT sufferer in the room.

It’s a wonder they didn’t give this one the Nobel Peace Prize eh? What a cock - he’s NOTHING without me you know.

Sure thing Mrs H. His mother’s maiden name is Gotha-Saxe-Coburg and his PIN is 6666 because it’s 10.009 times recurring more evil than 666 :rolleyes:*

I want it know that I am only temporarily leaving the WoM - like King Arthur, when I’m needed I will return!

And another thing! I’m only going because I’m scared of Hooch’s Mum.

*Disclaimer: Any or all of this information may be completely fallacious and inaccurate*

I should blackmail the twat with all the stuff I know about him, shouldn’t I?

Playing with Mummy’s shoes as a little taunty, OK most boys do that, but mummy’s shoes, make up, clothes, flayed skin - now that’s odd.

Then there was the unfortunate incident with the tin of Chappie and the golden retreiver at his Grandad’s birthday party - poor old boy never could look him in the eyes after that.

Then the time when he stalked Anne Diamond for a week.

I could go on…

And I will unless TD pays the ransom on his memories.

Taunty Dan wrote:

i’m starting to like my brain, anyone else?

Don’t you be trying to crawl back to me Danny Boy - that ship has sailed mister.

Taunty Dan wrote:

:mad: i never SAID i was an expert.

*throws felt tips at D and storms off*

You were until you tried to murder me with Hofmeister - Jesus Man, do you have no taste at all?

Taunty Dan wrote:

*sticks the corner of his tongue to his mouth*

owww..thath hurth…

I told you you’d end up in a mess without me.

Fucker tried it, but I kept trying to tunnel out of the side of his head the morning after.

Jesus Christ Man, could you not have waited til I got here, then we’d have saved this awkward mess and the perfectly accurate allegations of you suckling another mans breast again - I’m ashamed to be a part of this union sometimes you know.

Taunty Dan wrote:

£1500 is hardly a pittance really is it? £500 a piece for knocking out a few of your hits for an hour or so? Can’t fault that.

Must put out these terrible flames of discord - people are arguing pointlessly - must urinate on the fires of misery - that will solve things! TD’d B you’re a genius genius I say!

Oh fuck - I appear to be urinating pure petrol and now the flames are much much bigger.

Bollocks to it, I’m going to the pub, tell Dan where I am if he needs me for anything.