Wall of Mouths

She’s sexy alright, reminds me of classic Debbie Harry. But with more hair, and a horse’s tail sticking out of her arse.

A bit of Goldfrapp on 2 now mate.

You can’t knock Oasis’s first two albums though, classics!

Well, Oasis are quite entertaining, even though Liam looks like an angry tramp wearing a dead polar bear.

Not wanting to sound cynical, it being a worthy cause and all that, but how many people from the vicinity of Baltimore visit this board d’you reckon? Not many, I’d wager.

They only show the commercial stuff, mate.

I’m not ashamed to say that I’m looking forward to seeing Oasis. I hope Liam is as pissed as a fucker, and drags Jo Whiley on stage for a live orgy, with Alison Goldfrapp in her kinky dominatrix outfit.

JSar666 wrote:

If you ever have the misfortune of meeting Norwegians abroad you’ll notice they always travel in pack and never interact with people that aren’t Norwegian.

Not true - me and a couple of mates (an unholy triumvirate comprising an Englishman, an Aussie and a Romanian) were hanging out and interacting with some Norwegians we met in Barcelona earlier this year.

Unless “interact with” is a euphemism for “shag”, of course. I was after one of the girls and she wasn’t having any of it.

Chump Change wrote:

when do you ever see a good muslim stand up and apologize for the actions of others? Liek suicide bombers? Never!!!

When was the last time you stood up and apologised to the mothers of all the Iraqi children killed by American/British armed forces?

Chump Change wrote:

I think people that protest are narrow minded.

As narrow-minded as people who say they dislike “Muslims” and their “twisted religion”?

jemima wrote:

jebus, talk about freakin sarcasm!

Jebus, indeed.

I prefer ladies to have a neatly trimmed bush, to be honest. I’ve been with women who were excessively hairy in the pubic region, and quite frankly, I felt nauseated. If a new beau proved to be a shaven raver, however, and it hadn’t been me who’d wielded the razor, I’d be slightly suspicious.

I’m not sure who’s the weirdest though, you for asking the question, or me for answering it in such detail.

Let’s get the party poppers out.

Fucking hilarious shit. This guy just has no respect for anyone. Which I respect.

And yeah, agreed, Emma Bunton is well fit.

White Psycho wrote:

that reminds me to nick my brother’s Nick Dreake albums, cheers!

Hey, did you start frenziedly scribbling down bad Apple puns instead of logical answers during your important exam? Hope not! <snigger> ;)

How did you guess? :p

As a wise man once said: “perversity’s always excused when arranged in a formulaic equation”.

I was actually disturbed by the fact that you’d taken the time to mentally visualise the imaginary offspring of Paltrow and Pitt - and then fancied the person your feverish mind had created.

The age thing doesn’t bother me one bit. In fact, I approve.

I still, however, reserve the right to judge whomsoever I choose.

JSar666 wrote:

If Gwyneth had only stuck with Brad Pitt, that way when I’m an old dirty man (as opposed to a young dirty man) I’d have someone to fantasise about.

That’s some fucked up shit, man.

I think we should send our affectionate puns to the happy couple, as a christening present for little Apple.

I’m sure they’d be touched.

JSar666 wrote:

Let’s hope she doesn’t get plucked too soon.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed - but fear that by the age of 14 she’ll have become interested in Cox.

(It’s a type of apple.)

Red_Mist wrote:

Im sure she’ll turn everyone green with envy :D

We have a joke thief! You just heard that at the end of the ITV news - and it wasn’t funny the first time!

JSar666 wrote:

Does this mean the first guy she’s with will have stuck his finger in Apple’s core?

He’ll only get to second base after having fondled her pips.

Let’s hope when she grows up she kills her irritating parents.

Then she’ll be a bad Apple.

Next…

Title: Paltrow and Martin have named their sprog…

…Apple.

Poor kid.

Just to continue the Anti-American theme, a thoroughly annoying blue toolbar has appeared below my Explorer toolbar. Its categories include “United States map”, “World War Two”, “Walt Disney World”, “Long Term Care” and, appropriately enough, “Therapy”.

I’ve no idea how it got there, I can’t get rid of it, and it’s annoying the fuck out of me.

3ddo-on-the-balcony wrote:

But hell, that’s not what interests me. What interests me is that there are and should be more people asking questions to their governments about why they are participating in an illegal war in and against Iraq! Unfortunately ‘my’ government is amonsgt them and so are the US, ‘Great’ Britain, Spain and Italy.

More than enough people asked and are asking questions here in the UK, myself included. The response? Well, they were all ignored. And I got a punch in the face from a copper for my troubles.

So long as Blair is in power and in control of the police and armed forces, there’s fuck all that can be done about the situation in Iraq. Which is why Al-Qaida should try and blow him up instead of innocent British civilians, which is 100% certain to happen anyday soon…

@ Citizen Erased: Maybe it’s a glandular thing ;)

Zammo says Just Say “No”, kids.

I said “yes please” for 10 years and have just started saying “Hmm, maybe not”, and I feel a fuck sight clearer headed for it.

Underhand tactics - I like it, and I thoroughly approve. Cheers fellers.

hoochalobster wrote:

Sam, are you staying in touch with the pretty barmaid? ;)

I would have done - if I hadn’t found out the day before that she was bloody engaged!

Grr, engaged women should wear badges or something. I spent four shifts working on her… ;)

not_that_kind_of_guy wrote:

i have never been sacked from a job. however i wish i could be sacked from my current job as i hate it. but i’m so lazy that i’d never bother to find another job otherwise. everyday is exactly the same. grrrr, someone please fire me.

If you really need some tips on how to get sacked, I’m your man.

Title: Sacked

I was sacked tonight, which rather amusingly means I’ve been sacked from my last four jobs (they were shit, and weren’t remotely what I want to do with my life) :)

Anyone else?