Wall of Mouths

Bollocks to all that technical mallarkey, get a flying V, heres the reasons why:

1) you don’t actually have to play it, just swing it about a bit and it’ll look raaaawwwwkkk. Useful tip - If somebody does actually demand a demonstration, just tell them that if you actually learned how to play, it would be against punk rock ethics.

2) It’s the only guitar that lets you get away with wearing spandex! Also, have some pyrotechnics set up in your living room for that authentic rock solo ending.

( Disclaimer- that bit about spandex may not be true, also, I accept no blame for any harm caused to pets or loved ones as a result of front room pyros. )

Title: *spoiler alert*

The daleks return for the last two episodes… along with Anne Robinson!

Aparently they are going to be doing something with J & Silent Bob in again. I was reading an interview where he’d said something about the door not being closed on them. The main problem is Jason Mewes and his heroin addiction, he’s been given an ultimatum to get clean or not be in anymore of his films!

Failing that I’ve got a script here for a film called Weapons of Ass Destruction… I bet you can’t guess what that involves?!? ;)

I had an idea for a tv series in which people demonstrate their porn qualities, it’s called bone idol.

So far the BBC and ITV don’t seem interested though!

I think the funniest thing was when they wheeled out Westlife to tell “da kids” that burning cd’s was the same as dealing drugs… eh?

The big irony is that the people continously pushing this message are the ones who keep the dealers going?! No names mentioned obviously!

Speaking of copy right and file share whingers and drugs…heres a little quiz for you. Which major music and film retailer had to have their MD resign last year to save their public image and placate their shareholders after he was embroiled in an argument with a policeman which resulted him in hitting said copper, who then arrested him to find him in possesion of a rather large amount of “bolivian marching powder”?

Alledgedly, of course! ;)

:D Very funny!

I dunno about you, but I got so sick and tired of the news when that silly whiney moo had to pull out of the Olympics, you’d think she’d died by the way the newscasters were lowering their voices!

And if you do , do you get one of those spangly silver blankets afterwards?

Oh yeah, in answer to that question - no!

MR POO! wrote:

CaN YOU imagine an evening watching them all back to back? You wouldn’t finish til the afternoon the next day!

That all depends on when you start watching them!

It could still happen! Probably when all 6 episodes are released in the boxed set.

Nah..hit him where it’ll really hurt… nick all his blue screens, he’ll be fucked royally!

The thing I hate the most out of all 3 new editions is the beak they badly tacked onto the Sarlac pit in Jedi, originally it looked like a fanny with teeth around it.. weird but kind of cool… now it looks like fuckin’ Audrey from the little Shop of Horrors, you’re just waiting for it to squeal “feed me… feed me now!”

You’ll find the ass kissing stupidity goes on well past school, most major companies seem to be filled with sycophants who don’t know shit about the actual job, whereas the people on the bottom rung stay there and will continue to because they’re not “in the clique”.

As for cheating… most of my teachers and tutours in school and college used to read out of a book! Where’s the skill in that?!

I noticed that… it made the ending even shitter. In Empire they’ve gone and stuck in Ian whatsisname who plays Palpatine.

Shame on Lucas though, they should have left the Ewoks song in, I’ll never forgive the bastard for that!

Also on the DVD release, does anybody else think the covers look like somebody let a 4 year old loose with Photoshop? They’re bloody awful!

Top driving tip: Never argue with a central reservation at 90mph- you WILL lose!

It’s a shame he’s gone, he truly was one of the great characters, I’ll never forget the images on the news of him slapping those pitch invaders!

Title: Shite film ahoy!

I’ve just got me grubby mitts on an “advanced preview” ( oh alright, illegal pirate copy ) of Aliens Vs Predator. I’d been looking forward to this for ages…

It’s fucking bollocks!

Now, I wasn’t expecting a classic by any means, but an enjoyable switch off and embrace the cheese night was at least hoped for. It doesn’t even offer that, and the predators look a bit crap as well.

Paul Anderson is the world’s worst director!

Event Horizon? Shite! Poor man’s Hellraiser 2! Saw Dawn of the Dead remake a bit back.. not bad, but not as good as the original story-wise.

Should be seeing Shaun of the Dead soon, now that looks like a top quality bollocks film!

Tell you who looks great in a slinky off the shoulder number… me!

Yeah, I’m my own top bird!

I’ve read some sick things in my time, but sex with VF is really taking the biscuit ( tin )!

I say the final desicion should rest with judge “man hater” Judy!

It’s true, she always decides in favour of the ladies!

Bite my shiny metal ass!

It’s nice that you try to be polite about it, but the fact remains that she is one ugly minger!

The thing is, any Hobbit adapaptation will now be automatically associated with Jackson, unless his name is associated then any other attempt will come across as a cheap cash in.

You could say…when you dance..make sure it’s safe!

Planet sun tan? I can almost picture another beagle on the way! I thought he was a Tory, not a labour MP!

Not as many as Kilroy!

Well, if her husband had left, there would be no guilt trips! She’d probably analyze the merits of noshing afterwards though!

Men at work?

I come from the land down under!