Wall of Mouths

Bastard. Is their a conspiracy out there to make the only people who offer sex to me are mentalists? And drunk mentalists?

Everyone was in a fucking T? shirt!

I asked a couple of guys out of a hige group that kept having their picture taken and all I got was “What the fuck are you on about?” Was there a girl in shorts and stripy socks with you guys?

I was at Lavery’s from 7 to 8. I asked a few people if they were Wombles or posted on the Wall of Mouths but all I got was confused stairs. I was one of the three guys sitting directly in front of the DJ for that hour. Who were you? and it’s a damn shame we didn;t meet up.`

I got a free couple of t-shirts though!

And I got to shake the hand of The Man Himself! Yeeeeeeeees!

Title: Weird fucking night.

What a weird fucking night.

The gig was hot, it was so hot. It was amazing. So amazing I almost died in the mosh pit and the front.

Walking out I was grabbed by a girl and dragged about ther est of the night. Some anonymous girl who kept kissing me and crap and said she could “get you and your mates into the afterparty”.

She was a fucking mentalist. By the time we got out we heard the thing had moved to Johnny’s house and the cops were busting it. Then aforementioned girl started freaking me outt elling me aobut how she hurt herself and shit. I ran away.

While I was walking away who was behind me walking to his car but Mr Cairns! and this girl was in a right state and as far as my mate’s could make out he took pity on her and giave her a lift home. she was scary. Scary scary.

What a weird fucking night.

I hope the rest of your T? fans aren’t like that.

I’ll be wearing a dark green leather jacket. No T? shirt alas. But I’ll get me one tha marrah, leek.

I shall be there from about oh I dunno 5 30 or 6? We’re eating at Wetherspoons first. Hoohah!

Does anyone want my number? Eh?

Well I’m not sure what time I’ll be there at but I’ll be there. Lavery’s I mean. I’ll get someone’s number later this week and we can sort out meeting there.

Ever seen that film? Comedy genius!

If we’re in a group we’ll be fine.

Here’s something to help you all:

http://speaknorniron.8m.net/

A particularly useful extract for you lot:

Now you’ve enticed a subject into the bar, you really do need to set up a situation that is both fun and safe.

-Don’t mention “The Troubles” and tensions may arise and may not be fitting conversation in a Belfast bar
-Don’t ask personal questions, like where they live etc
-Do offer as much drink as you can comfortably afford
-Do tell jokes, as Northern Irish humour is quite rife in NI
-Talk about the weather - it’s their best subject.

Your encounter should run smoothly, if it should go badly we recommend these excuses if you find yourself in bother.

1] “I’m sorry [insert name of NI person], but I have to go to the cash machine to get more money for drink.”
Get up and leave. Your companion will believe you and let you leave. Do not return.

2] “It’s been “magic” to have had a drink with you but I have to go now. My ferry is leaving in 45mins.”
Again, they will believe you as many people use the ferry to Scotland as means of escape.

3] “Would you like another drink?”
If the the reply is “yes”, hand them a five pound note, to go to the bar. They will accept with disbelief and head for the bar. Leave promptly. They won’t be to angry with you as they just made a fiver, and got a few free drinks.

These tips should ensure an enjoyable encounter with a local. Follow these guidlines and your trip to NI will be alot more memorable.
That concludes the conversational skills required when talking to a Northern Irish person in a Public House situation.

I’ve had trouble off the Lisburn Road AND in the City Centre. I once walked from Adelaide to the Crown and I got given hassle by a bunch of drunks near Shaftsbury Square.

I also once got trouble outside the Northern Whig. Which is pretty near city Centre.

Well I’ll be at Lavery’s and the gig, dunno about the after party stuff - depends on whether we get taxi back home or stay with a mate.

Really looking forward to this!

Where is Rampage Skatepark?

Who all’s headed to Lavery’s? It sounds like a good place for Wombles to meet up…

How do you get to Lavery’s?

Yeah - though there’s another door isn’t there? Just in case. I got in through a different entrance.

Yo - Mandela Hall is at the Union isn’t it? I’m getting confused. Same building yeah?

I seem to remember some other entrance last time i was up.

True, but that was 2 years ago. They have considerably tightened security and so on since then. the City council and the police have been cracking down on underage drinking.

The Mandela Hall is quite strict, I think.

Hehe! Actually it might be better if I wore a mask!

I’m up for that but I’ll have to see. I’m bringing three mates who aren’t ‘WOMbles’ but maybe I can convince them. As longa s you lot aren’t too scary in real life!

If they do a fast verison of Diane then all’s good. But the slow version only workson the record. Mind the version with just Andy singing and Martin playing cello is quite good apparently.

To be honest, on record I prefer Therapy?’s version to Husker Du’s. It’s much more menacing.

Lonely Cryin’ Only would be brilliant. It used to be quite a regular bit it seems it hasn;t been played so much lately. Although they did play it quite often when touring Shameless as far as I know.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:

More SP:YF! He’s Not That Kind Of Girl! Ten Year Plan! Sister!

And Bad Karma and Fat Camp too!

Red_Mist - you are right in many ways.

But what about Fastfude?* And EPK Records?

You’re right though - a daily magazine - proper magazine - will do the scene a world of good. The local mags don’t really concentrate on the bands themselves enough in my opinion.

*the main site’s down right now but the ezBoards are up.

Yakuza have recorded an album?? Awesome! I saw you guys at the Limelight I think - back around Easter was it?

Jonny - I’m sorted. I’m the Pete you;ve been emailing to and fro. I’ll send the postal order tomorrow :)

God, I’m looking forward to this baby now!

What are you trying to do? Sell a magazine?! ;)

I’m worried I’ll get no tickets. There’ll definitely be some left by Friday night yeah?

Pity. Element are pretty damn good.

http://www.elementnet.co.uk

Support acts are:

Somedaysbetter and Yakuza!

Element were emant to be suporting but due to some mix-up - they ain’t!

Cheers big-ears! Email on ze way.

Exactly! I’m not fussed on those three songs at all to be honest. I would have preferred maybe Infernal Love, Stay Happy and dropping all of Troublegum except maybe Screamager - instead doing stuff from before it.

There’s not enough stuff from Suicide Pact and Shameless. Plus the extra tracks on the retrospective! Fat Camp and Bad Karma! I want to hear them live!